Prime Minister and subservient warmonger Tony Blair today accused the Al Quaeda movement of utilising global weather warfare by cripplng Heathrow airport with a radical Moslem fog.
The unusual weather, at first thought to be a natural phenomena, has caused hundreds of Christmas flights to be cancelled. Minister for War, Des Brownose, told a press gathering:
"The timing of this attack is particularly suspicious, being just before the main Christian holiday. Preventing good Christian relatives from returning home for Christmas is barbaric, and shows the depths of depravity to which these scum will stoop..."
Home office metereologist and former TV weather anchor, Sir Michael Fish confirmed that the "fog" is actually opium smoke being wafted from the Tora Bora mountains by Bedouin tribesmen loyal to Sammy Bed Linen and Muchado Abood Nowd - leaders of the banned fundamento-radical group:
"They use their blankets and tents to waft the smoke in a Westerly direction, whilst muttering wicked Moslem incantations", Fish lied. "We have inside information that they plan to increase global warming to prevent nice Christian westerners like me from enjoying a white Christmas".
Meanwhile, those "stranded" at Heathrow were reported to be "enjoying the weather". Several runways are strewn with giggling bodies. A spokesman for BAA, who are responsible for running the airport said "fuck man!" whilst on his third time around on the baggage carousel.
Official Source: Rotters News Agency
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Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
Mmmm...having just spent 5 hours driving home from Canterbury through the bloody fog with helpful signs saying 'fog' appearing every five minutes - this when the visibility was 'somewhat' reduced due to the bloody stuff...this was a little close to home!
But I liked it - it made me giggle 
Elli |
Written by coosh (844 comments posted) 21st December 2006 |
| Nicely OTTed seasonal conspiracy theory, Oli. Suzanne Charlton in a burkah is coordinating everything. Enjoyed the image of a bunch of wafting Afghans. Weather situation is now clear to me. Have a good Christmas. Cheers. |
Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 21st December 2006 |
Liked this Oli, but what's all the fuss about fog? There's hardly any round here.
All the best, Phil. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 21st December 2006 |
These items always benefit by going right over the top with them,well played that man;this is what the not news forum is all about. I really enjoyed this but if the fatwas start flying around I'm afraid you're on your own
J |
Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 9th February 2007 |
Another good piece, I'm running out of ideas, where do you get them?
Pat  |
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