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Poetry
Religion by numbers
By kitten_princess
21 December 2006
An attempt at rhyme.
Not sure about the title, again.

Comments [good/bad] would be really nice! :D

UPDATE: Couple bits changed to make it flow a little nicer.

one two three four five six seven
all good children go to Heaven

one and three and five are odd
you must learn to love your God

two and four and six are even
Devil's here, don't stop believin'

one and four and nine are square
He is coming - so prepare!

Reviews

Written by Thatllbemethen (83 comments posted) 21st December 2006
Would make a good skipping song I imagine. Your attempt at rhyme was a success as I found I could read this faster and faster. 
 
I know I'm sad but I got it down to 6 seconds if anyone thinks they can beat that?

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 21st December 2006
Good idea, but I think some tinkering with the first line of two of your couplets would help it scan better: 
 
Four, five, six, seven 
 
Two and four and six are even 
 
Hope you don't mind this suggestion. 
 
Phil. 
 

Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 21st December 2006
Sounds much nicer than the preachers in Phil's non-fiction pieces :grin:

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 21st December 2006
I don't want to go off piece, but no. They sound just the same. Sure of themselves, full of fear-mongering and full of contradiction. 
 
Still a very worthwhile poem though. 
 
Phil.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 21st December 2006
I'm not sure about this one...didn't quite work for me although i liked the idea. 
 
Elli

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