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Poetry
Barbie Bitch
By ellipinnock
22 December 2006
Uh....contains a little coarse language....as you may have guessed already

I take no responsibility for this one - it is witzl's fault and it is pretty rough

Barbie is two-faced,
the bitch.
I poured my heart out to her,
cried over her ash blond hair
and she swore she'd never tell
another soul
but I know she did
because Annie from school found out
and told my whole class.
Two-faced
bitch.
I asked her why she told
but she just stared
with her vacant gaze
and told me nothing.
Demure with her tiny waist
and heaving plastic breasts
she sat and glared.
Two-faced bitch.
Smug blue eyes
that never cry,
no blotchy snot-smeared
face for Barbie.
Who could ever make her feel
the way I do?
I'll wait until Ken drops her
for a younger model
and then she'll come running
back to me
begging for companionship.
I will have forgotten her,
moved on, grown up,
become busy with other things
and it will be her turn
to cry alone.
Two-faced bitch.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 21st December 2006
Loved:  
No blotchy snot-smeared 
face for Barbie. 
 
Enjoyed this Elli. 
 
An aside. Every so often we have themed weeks at work. Every couple of years I run a photography week. Every child aged 4 - 11 takes several photgraphs and the most interesting and the best are presented to the school. This year (to avoid repetition of subject) we're asking them to photograph Barbie or Actionman (or both) dressed up and posed and then captioned. Can't wait for the results. 
 
Phil.

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 21st December 2006
Yes! I was all set to like this, but I like it even more than I thought I was going to! We could probably start our own support group! 
 
Or failing that, how about a Reality Barbie doll? Barbie-on-her-period, complete with her own pads, pins (Retro!) and tiny tampax (sorry, guys). PMS Barbie -- exactly like the usual Barbie, but with slightly thicker wrists and ankles and an ill-humored look on her face. Pregnant Barbie with a do-it-yourself kit for marking on varicose veins and stretch marks. Broken-hearted Barbie with red, rubbery eyes and nose, a month's supply of chocolates, and miniature boxes of Kleenex.  
 
I think there's a real business opportunity here, Elli. Shall I approach Mattel, or will you?
Genius!
Written by Talisker (1321 comments posted) 21st December 2006
Just genius!  
 
An angry rant at a plastic doll 70s & 80s Icon - yet so brilliantly done, so sincere.  
 
You are my female side that I've not got, the ying to my yang - I envy your female perception, I love your sincerity, you rock! 
 
Oli

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 21st December 2006
Yes we could have hungover Barbie (complete with bucket), downright pissed off Barbie, a post-Christmas podgy Barbie, bulemic Barbie....I;m venturing further out of the realms of good taste here but I'm sure the list is endless!  
 
I think we should start a support group! I'm sure it's time to start on Ken for real... 
 
Elli  
 
ps. Phil - the photo comp sounds like a really interesting idea - hope you get some good results

Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 21st December 2006
Ken's in the closet. Do you really want to be the one to out him?

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 21st December 2006
Oh you asked for it!!!
Hi Elli
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 21st December 2006
What fun. Very enjoyable read.

Written by wattle (117 comments posted) 22nd December 2006
What just because Mattel never came out with a Barbie down the Microscope model you have to go and give her the big squeeze. --- I like.

Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 22nd December 2006
Wow. Were you that close to Barbie? I thought most kids have some rag-doll or teddy-bear with one eye and chewed off ears to tell their secrets to...

Written by Snodlander (501 comments posted) 22nd December 2006
My daughter, during her punk goth phase, dressed Barbie in punk, made up her face goth style, then crucified her to the cupboard door through the hands with big pins. It was quite disturbing. 
 
Liked this

Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 22nd December 2006
enjoyed this one, elli. :grin in the words of the great ... err..not so great... George Donne.... you rock! [i stone]. lol.. loved this one. :grin

Written by austheke (35 comments posted) 5th May 2007
haha! what a fun read. it makes me feel better. somehow.  
 
ok. back to sanity. relatively speaking. some of the comments are hilarious. i love witzl's idea. and snodlander, tell your daughter hi from me. :] i should have tried that.  
 
ANYWAYS. 
 
i liked it. a different take on something that we see so differently. i need a thesaurus.  
 
...............,............... 
 
ok, fine. i'll just say that i enjoyed it, because i can't seem to put words together coherently today.  
 
well done.

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