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Poetry
Cracked Concrete
By ellipinnock
23 December 2006
Very much a work in progress - comments/opinions most welcome

Imponderable concrete facade. A product of the sixties.
A cutting edge trend.

Molded prefab buildings to suit every need,
a thoroughly modern invention.

Years later and cancer sets in,
the once smooth surface cracks and splinters.

The previously proud pioneering project
now hazardous to health.

Call in the wrecking balls to
crumble and crush age-grimed walls to dust.

Leave an empty hole
where a building used to stand.

Maybe when the dust settles
you can rebuild a shattered mind

on reinforced foundations
this time.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 22nd December 2006
I really liked this Elli. It brought to mind Oli's 'The Harrisons,' one of my favourites. 
 
I think (as it's a work in progress) you could go one of two ways. You could include more humanity in this as you sort of do at the end, or you could take humanity right out and go for completely stark. At the moment, it's in the middle ground. 
 
Just remember, poetry and me giving advice don't go together very well very often. 
 
All the best, Phil.

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