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Poetry
My Father's Garden
By Toad
23 December 2006
My father walked the world
with a heart that would not harden.
He lived his life and found a wife
and I was born out in the garden.

I grew up in the valley
with our garden and a fountain.
I came and went how'er I pleased
and I grew up on the mountain.

I'd never heard of tractors,
and I'd never been in cars.
I didn't know an outdoor light
could wash away the stars.

Nothing lasts forever,
people came and trees went down.
The valley that was once so free
had now become a town.

When my father's time had come
his heart had still not hardened.
We buried him beneath the weeds
of the land that he once gardened.

Reviews

Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 28th December 2006
This is a very interesting poem, and I am surprised that you haven't had other reviews. Perhaps it is because people have been busy doing other things at Christmas. How strange that you were born in the garden (but perhaps that is why you have the pen-name of Toad). It is indeed very hard to see places that you remember as beautiful countryside/beautiful garden, mown down to make way for buildings, and all too sadly we are losing a lot of our lovely landscape in such a way. It never seems to be the other way does it? A really good poem.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 28th December 2006
I'm no expert on rhyming poetry! The rhymes seemed a little forced in places but I liked the content, a very peaceful piece. 
 
Elli
well,
Written by Toad (100 comments posted) 28th December 2006
the speaker in the poem isn't literally me. the content was inspired by the sadness of disappearing natural beauty, and for my father's appreciation of such things. note: my father is still alive. 
Elli, I'm no rhyming expert myself, I'm always amazed when poets can rhyme without it feeling forced... a skill I envy.
HI Toad
Written by jean.day (2279 comments posted) 28th December 2006
I liked this poem too - particularly  
 
I didn't know an outdoor light 
could wash away the stars. 
 
I think your fourth stanza needs another line. I think the first and second lines should be the first line - and you need to stick in another second line. It would read more consistently with the rhythym of the other stanzas. 
 
Hi Jean
Written by Toad (100 comments posted) 30th December 2006
You were right about the 4th stanza. I combined the first two lines and made them the 2nd line, with a new first. I think it's an improvement. Thanks for the comments!

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