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Poetry
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No Moment
By TwistedTales
29 December 2006
This one's for the romantics, the mushy lovers, the classic 'in-love' dreamers...



*P.S. This is my first contribution to this section. Would love to know what yall think bout it.

There’s not a moment that goes by when I am not thinkin’ of you,
Oh, your smile, your face, your fragrance possess me every second,
There’s not a wink that goes by when I am not dreamin’ bout you,
Without you in my arms, melancholy sweeps over me & I feel weakened,

The world is a better place when you’re with me,
It is only you, who makes me happy,
My life has some meaning when you’re with me,
I am just in love, I am not sappy,

It is when I look into your eyes,
There comes a feeling that is so nice and sweet
To see you real soon is what my heart opines
Or it seems to me that it’ll stop to beat

The day I saw you for the first time
My heart was yours and your heart was mine
Love, oh! My sweet love, I bow my head in gratitude
I thank you for showering me with love of such magnitude

There’s not a moment that goes by when I am not thinkin’ of you,
Oh, your smile, your face, your fragrance possess me every second,
There’s not a wink that goes by when I am not dreamin’ bout you,
Without you in my arms, melancholy sweeps over me & I feel weakened,
     
   

Reviews

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 29th December 2006
Not for me I'm afraid - and I am a bit of a romantic. This read like the lyrics of a song. As such it might work. As a stand alone piece of poetry it doesn't have the strength or depth it needs. 
 
Sorry. Others may feel differently. 
 
Phil.

Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 29th December 2006
I agree with Phil on this one. The sentiments are there, but it needs a little fine tuning. 
 
It may just be me, but the abbreviating of certain words (ie thinkin', 'bout), jars slightly. As I say, others might think I am nitpicking, but it's something that I have always found irritating, for want of a better word. 
 
As I said, the sentiments are there and you have the makings of a good poem.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 30th December 2006
It does read quite like lyrics...bit cliched for me but then it's very very hard to write a love poem that isn't cliched! Will, I guess, hit the 'mushy' spot but doesn't hit the mark for me as poetry. Maybe a different topic? 
 
Elli
wow...emo
Written by milz (35 comments posted) 23rd October 2007
wow...such a nice poem for me....:D
Josie made me search for you
Written by JohnnyD (97 comments posted) 6th August 2008
HI there! 
 
Josie told me about you. I had to search for you. I liked the way you represented your feelings of love in this poem. There's a touch of earnest desire, which many may not feel from within because of various cultural differences... 
 
We are all emotional beings, who only see what is there to see, never understanding the feelings another poet has gone through to pour one's heart into words. 
 
Keep up the good work... :)  
 
Johnny D 
johnny.d@rediffmail.com
The Title
Written by JohnnyD (97 comments posted) 6th August 2008
The title I felt was a bit off your content...  
 
PRECIOUS STOLEN MOMENTS... would have been more appropriate according to me... 
 
RELIVING LOVELY MOMENTS... 
 
Well... just few options... 
 
Johnny D 
 

Written by TwistedTales (548 comments posted) 7th August 2008
Thanks everyone. I am not much of a poet. I'll try and take each of your comments on board.  
 
JohnyD - :). She did tell me about you, too. So good to meet you, if only virtually.  
 
Regards, 
TT
Mushy Lover!
Written by Katanga (1229 comments posted) 7th August 2008
I'm a bit of a mushy lover myself, so I was drawn to this. 
 
I liked the last stanza repeating the first - gives it a neat structure. 
 
As with some others above, I think it needs polishing. 
 
But don't let that stop you! 
 
Cheers! 
 
John

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