Eagerly I awaited my flight, with nervous excitement and a fluttering tummy. Across the airfield a group of helicopters stood motionless, while several men in overalls carried out pre flight checks. A large aircraft began taxing along the runway partially obscuring the mechanical birds. Then as it picked up speed it shot off like an arrow in a deafening wail of noise, revealing four white helicopters pre inspected and ready for flight.

         A small bus appeared, driven by an elderly man. We entered without his aid as if he were somehow welded to the contraption and would remain at the wheel until he expired.

           Several minutes later I stood before a bell 250 flying machine. Inside the pilot was frantically pressing buttons and pulling on leavers. The machine began to vibrate as were ushered into the seating area. Then inside a man closed the door signalled to the pilot and we were airborne .I looked across to my flight companion, a small man with a sweaty brow, who seemed to be squirming in his seat as if the aircraft has just eaten him and was in the throes of digesting him.

            The flight took us across the airfield high above the terminal passing over the main road dissecting the lush green countryside. Below a haphazard array of tiny vehicles moved slowly in some time and motion equation I had read about in some science book.

             I often thought about how I would end my life, the most efficient way of expiring I called it. The helicopter flight method was based on being airborne and above the earth thus free of any restraint. The facts were I believed in the souls need to be at a certain altitude to gain a clean entry point in to the next life.

             The small man looked over at me in terror as if he just had read my mind.

Before me the door to the cockpit opened revealing a smiling co pilot who sat on a seat facing us.

             “ Well gentlemen I hope you enjoy your flight with us”. He said removing his aviator glasses and attaching them on top of his head.

              “I knew this was wrong,” shouted my companion shaking his head.

The co pilot extended his hands in a gesture of calm.

               “Your safe my friend, perfectly safe” he repeated.

 Behind the co pilot I herd the radio in the cockpit bust into life as the pilot gave out our position and flight details over the net.

                “Are you George Teller, the man who one the competition to go in to space”. Said the co, addressing it to the nervous flyer. 

                “Yes and I am going to sell the dam ticket for a tenner to anyone, Jesus flying aint for me “. He replied hysterically.

                 “Gentlemen I do believe its your lucky day” I said removing a twenty pound note from my wallet.

                   “Look if we return now can I have your ticket ?” I said waving my money at the frantic passenger.

                   “I mean I have paid for the full four hour flight, but if we can come to some agreement we can be down sooner” I said slyly.

                    “ Done deal man” he replied taking the note.

The co pilot nodded before rejoining his pilot in the cockpit.

For the remaining period of the flight I began to work out the most efficient way for an instant death in space. Wow what a bonus I thought releasing my finger from the trigger of the gun I had in my pocket that I planned to use to blow out my brains.