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Poetry
Moonlight and Shadow
By rilLie
31 December 2006
not sure about this one.... I did this before I went to sleep last night so... I'm not quite clear of what it actually means, yet... XP I'm weird, I know... but somehow, my weird mind connected it to the Marcos regime... I don't know what you guys think of it though.. if it's crap, tell me.. :D please? comments very much appreciated!!!

Darkness surrounds
this place I call home
and everything is dancing
in the shadow of these walls.

Then the moon lights up
and the walls melt down
revealing
what used to be me.

I then cast my own shadow
covering the small
insignificant specks
of dust at my feet.

And I tower over them,
laughing and calling,
my chin up on high,
my broad shoulders seemingly forever.

But then the sun begins to rise
and I, too, melt down,
like the blasted walls that used
to cover me.

And I fall down, down, and down,
letting the sun shine
on the once-small specks
I used to overpower.

Reviews

Written by peeano1 (86 comments posted) 1st January 2007
Very interesting. You have a natural flow and good description. Although, I did find it confusing in some parts. Otherwise, you have a nice poem. :)

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 1st January 2007
The pulse to this piece is wonderful. Unless I'm reading too much into this, this is a well developed metaphor. Personally I would drop the 'thens' in verses two and three. 
Good piece rilLie. 
 
Phil.

Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 1st January 2007
thanks. :grin

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