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Not News
WOMAN (22) KEPT CHILD IN FURNITURE
Written by fellpony
31 December 2006
I saw this excruciating advert on a FreeCycle group the other day and my mind just went on from there!

"Small or narrow pine wardrobe or tallboy wanted for my little boy as
he's outgrowing his chest of drawers!"

Social Services in Carlisle today refused to comment on the case of Wayne Empire, the boy who was found sleeping in a narrow wardrobe last Wednesday teatime.

Wayne, a lively toddler of two and a half, has lived until now with his mother Vanda (22) in a one bedroomed flat in Harraby. There were no beds in the flat and only minimal furniture.

Neighbours did not suspect anything was wrong until a Carlisle FreeCycle advertisement alerted a local nurse to the unusual conditions of the Empire household:

"Small or narrow pine wardrobe or tallboy wanted for my little boy as
he's outgrowing his chest of drawers." 

SRN Mary Wilson (52) said, “I recognised Vanda’s e mail address and was appalled. I went straight round, but she refused my offer of the bunk bed my grandchildren used to use. She even laughed. Of course I called out Social Services straight away.”

“Vanda seemed such a nice girl,” said next-door neighbour Tom Robinson (78). “She always looked a bit pale and she didn’t go out much, but I thought that was just her care for the little lad. I was really shocked to find out how she was keeping him.”

Empire’s ex-boyfriend Vic Timson has not been seen at the flat for several months. “Vanda and Vic seemed really close,” said the manager of the local Spar shop, Hilary Leadbetter (38). “She always hung on his arm when they came in to buy their tea. I don’t know why he left her.”

Empire’s background is unclear but it is understood that her family sought asylum in Britain some twenty years ago and were admitted because they had suffered persecution on religious grounds.

“When my partner left we only had a table, a chair and a chest of drawers between us,” dark-haired Ms Empire explained, when interviewed yesterday.  “That was fine while Wayne was little but he’s growing so fast now.”

Asked why she did not let Wayne sleep in a bed, Ms Empire said it was her religious belief that he should sleep as she and all her relatives did. Further investigation has revealed that she spends the night hanging by her heels from the hook on the back of the bedroom door.

“I thought a tallboy would be safer for Wayne because it could be closed. But someone on FreeCycle was willing to bring me a wardrobe so I took that. I thought it would give him more room to grow.”

Empire made a plea for the return of her son: “He’s everything in the world to me,” she said. “Nobody can care for him like I do.”

Wayne is now being looked after by foster carers. His location is being kept a close secret but Sharrocks, the Preston produce merchants, have been seen delivering "considerable numbers" of garlic bulbs to a location in the Rickerby Park area.

Police at Carleton Hall headquarters were unwilling to comment on the case.

Reviews
Going back to the ad...
Written by SammoR (125 comments posted) 31st December 2006
 
 
....why do you think it's called a 'tallboy'? 
 
Great stuff anyway....
Hi fellpony
Written by jean.day (2326 comments posted) 31st December 2006
I enjoyed this. And I almost thought it was believeable except for the bit about her hanging by her heels - unless she is batty - or a vampire. Maybe you wrote more than I picked up on here.  
 

Written by fellpony (1656 comments posted) 31st December 2006
Hi Jean 
 
Nearly there ... look at the lady's initial and her surname together. And the deliveries being made by the produce firm. 
 
Sue

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 6th January 2007
Advertisements can be very inspiring. Funny read :D
Not bad
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 8th January 2007
Welcome fellpony. Not a bad first stab at Not News, but I think you could have worked it better. Additionally, I found it a tad long. Still, brave of you to enter the fold, look forward to more from you. 
 
Best Regards 
 
Givitsum
really good
Written by johniebg (553 comments posted) 12th January 2007
cracking read from start to end, interesting, my subconscious flagged the names but I didn't stop to work out why, sleeping from the back of the door was a good one but the garlic clinched it just at the right time. well thought out, cleverly delivered and importantly: thoroughly enjoyable. 
 
Ms V.Empire, thats so cool. Wish the friday adds were as rich a source for material as they are for you.
Strange but true...
Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 3rd February 2007
Sorry but only just got round to reading this Fellpony (welcome by the way). I liked the way you have woven a story around an ad - and a good tale it is too. Quite off the wall and very believable! Once again, well done 
 
happy writing 
Woody

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