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Poetry


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Masculinity And The Cold

By Talisker

04 January 2007

What manner of foul, night-creeping demon,
came to scrape and scratch my larynx?
Please! No more honey and acid lemon!
I am beaten, a done man, jinxed!

I am a man with a cold, nay flu!
Far worse than any soul has known,
It started small, but then it grew,
Filled every organ, every bone!

The ache of childbirth is naught!
Compared to what I suffer now,
My tortured frame is overwrought,
No woman can imagine how!

Oh! Help me darling! Be my nurse,
Make bearable my final hours!
See my tears! The pain grows worse!
Come spread my bed with mourning flowers!

See how the little boy returns,
With snotty nose and teary eyes,
How even giant men will yearn,
For mummy's hugs and gentle sighs.

When Hercules has runny nose,
a rasping throat and stuffy head,
He still seeks fair Alcmene's hand,
To tuck him in his godly bed.

Oli (04/01/07)

Reviews

Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 4th January 2007

I'm not going to let my wife read this as she says all men are babies when they're ill. I can't remember being ill since we've been married so where she gets all men from, I don't know. Still, she's right.

Enjoyed very much.

Must go and have a rest now and put my feet up. Slight headache - brain tumour?

Phil.

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 4th January 2007

What impresses me, Oli, is that you are aware of this interesting masculine foible. My husband had a sprained shoulder a few years back and the entire household was thrown into the greatest turmoil and confusion as a result. I have a bad shoulder now, and I keep having to remind people about it. I share their ailments, but they don't share mine.

I also find it amusing that even though they are offered various cures and treatments, men tend to reject them. Men, it seems, do not want to be cured -- if they were cured, what could they whine about?

Okay, okay -- shame on me for having a rant when you are so good and funny about lampooning this masculine tendency. But who else is going to listen to my whining?

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 4th January 2007

Very good Oli - liked your portrayal of the terrible burden of man-flu

Clearly you havent lost the comic touch over Christmas!

Elli

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