Around 9 p.m. after we had dinner, I went to copy the homework Salma gave me, it was an easy one that I went doing it on my own. After an hour, I went to bed. The next day, in school I saw Salma and she told me she would visit.
The school day was an ordinary one, nothing much happened at school. Actually it was boring. I handed in my homework, was assigned in a group in math class with girls I did not like, and was loaded with books back to home. I walked to my house, and as usual it was the time when Khalfan, our neighbor was getting out of his car coming from his work.

I was thinking how lucky he was to be so independent at an early age. I was 17, still in school, living with my family. It was not that it was a habit for us to leave our home and live independently, no I was waiting Mr. Right to come and ask me to marry him. I liked it the way in Europe; when you feel you are ready you can move out and have your own home. I cannot imagine some of my friends doing it here. It would just feel strange.

I went to my room, prayed and ate my lunch. Then, I went back to my room to study. Dad came in, “Latefa, I want you to clean the majlis, my friends are coming. Unless you have to study then I will tell your mom to do it.” I put my books away “I will do it for you, I will go back to study after I finish.” It did not take more than 10 minutes to get the living room clean. I made some tea and coffee and left them ready for my dad’s friends.

In less than half an hour my sister Hamda came and told me not to leave my room because my dad’s friends were there already. I stayed in studying. Later on, Salma came and mom let her in my room. “Hey, how are you?” I was surprised to see Salma back again in my house. I thought she would come only when I missed school. She came in and lucked the door.
Salma: Latefa, I want to tell you something. This is a secret, so don’t tell any one, please.

Latefa: what is it?
Salma: I am… I want to… I don’t know how to say it.
Latefa: come on, say it. Are you in trouble?
Salma looked a bit upset, she blushed and then put her arms around my neck and pulled me closer to her.
Latefa: What is it?

She hugged me so tight and was silent for a while. I did not feel comfortable having her so close, and pressing her body to mine that way. Still there was a feeling that made me wait, a feeling that confused me even more.
Salma: never mind. I will tell you later, but it will be our little secret. Whatever this will be I am telling you you are going to enjoy it.
Latefa: What is it?
Slama: you will know later.

I sat next to her, and started recalling the moment when our bodies were so close to each other. I don’t have any twisted ideas about my friend, or let me say it this way I did not have any sexual interests yet at that time. However, I started to.
In my family, we are more of strangers to each other. I am rarely hugged by my mom, or dad. The physical interaction between us did not exist. Sometimes when I am in the kitchen with my mom we touched, but not intentionally. 

This time, I was aware of the sexual dimension in Salma’s hug. I felt her need. I resisted it though. I want to love a man, if I would love any. I wanted to be touched by a man and explored by a man; a friend will remain a friend to me especially a female on. Salma was still next to me, she pulled a magazine out of her bag and started reading it. This one looked as if it was an adult magazine. It had some nude pictures and talked about things married people should only read.

It was so funny how mom was so protective when it came to us growing up. In my house, we were not allowed to talk about marriage at a young age, no talk about boys, and therefore any talk about sex was forbidden. Mom was still living in the old days, when girls were so protected from these things and kept pure. Now a day, girls my age knew every thing. This generation was no longer innocent.
We remained silent for a while, I was left with my won thoughts and Salma was reading the magazine. I started:

Latefa: did you see Shaikha today? (I don’t know why I asked about this girl, just wanted to break the silence.)
Salma started shaking, and obviously she was crying.
Latefa: what it is?
Salma: dad does not like me. He does not like me.
Latefa: what are you talking about? Of course he likes you, Salma!
Slama: you know nothing, he does not like me.
Salma was so disturbed and sad. I hugged and tried to comfort her. Apparently she was stressed because her mom was leaving to Oman with Salma youngest uncle to visit a relative.
Latefa: actually you should be happy, he will count on you. You will be the only one he will depend on. He will be very proud of you when he will see how responsible you are.
Salma: you think so?
Latefa: I do.

Salma though stopped crying she still looked upset. In minutes later, my mom came and told us that the guests left. I walked Salma to the door and went back to my room. Again, Salma left the magazine in my room. I opened it and started reading. This read was the beginning to a whole world I entered. I read things in that magazine for the first time, did not like some of them and started thinking about others.

While reading few descriptions in the magazine I felt an itch somewhere in my body my mom told me once it was Ali Baba’s cave that I should not dare mess with. I was terrified. I closed the magazine and covered myself with the bed sheet. I started thinking what may happen to me if my mom knew. I was scared my mom would find out.