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Poetry


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Hot Afternoon

By amanda4uk

12 January 2007

Lovely and soft,

Born happy and kind,

I met you once at the end of my garden.

American and real,

You wore a hat,

It covered your receding hair,

You shook my hand

And looked at the sweet corn.

Your laugh, loud and clear,

Could be heard for miles,

Then you went back to work.

Reviews

???
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 12th January 2007

"American and real" - prize for the first oxymoron of the year.

Oli

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3567 comments posted) 12th January 2007

Perhaps it was the hat that was real

This reminds me of an old poem I read at school called "Adlestrop", I think It was a about a snapshot of a small incident frozen for ever and I always remember it, don't know why. This had the same quality for me.
I thougth the first two lines didn't quite fit but I've been advised only to comment on content with poems so I'll stop
cheers
J

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 12th January 2007

Not for me. There are certain words and phrases that turn me against things, 'real' being one. Real as in not imaginary? That's fine, but doesn't seem to fit the piece. Real as in not a phony (in the Holden Caulfield sense) just doesn't do it for me. 'He was real,' or 'We're keeping it real,' I hear vacuous, young famous for a week pop stars say. I don't know what it means other than a knee jerk verbal tick. Sorry, I think I've just gone into rant mode.

Having said all that, BBS is quite right. You do capture a moment in time here pretty well.

Phil. (Maybe it's just my age - although I'm not that old.)

Short and Sweet
Written by pandora (15 comments posted) 13th January 2007

In few word you have captured a single moment.
It is not an easy thing to do.

Thanks for the read.**

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