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Non-Fiction
Target Practice
By patterjack
13 January 2007
Target  Practice

Les   was   big   ,  strong   ,   but  withal  very  quiet and  easy  going .   I   never  knew  him as  other  than  a  gentle  person  who, in  the  very  best tradition   of  big boys ,  looked  after  his ageing  mother .

She  was  not  his  only  care  ,  as  he  was  a  police  sergeant  of  the  old  school .  I  am  not  sure  if  he  could  have actually run down a  younger   fleeing criminal   ,  but  by   the  time  I   got  to  know  him ,  he  had  moved  more  towards  desk  jobs  ,  and  was in  charge  of  many  of  the  matters   to  do  with  roads  and traffic .

He lived  opposite  us  in  the  new  house   we  had   built  , itself  a  thankful  transition from  Housing Commission  dwellings  on  the  other   side  of  town  ,  and  almost  at  the  end  of   the  development  westwards  at  that  time.  As  I  was  developing  the  gardens   around  the  house  ,  and  in  particular  the  rockery  on  the  side  that  was  nearest  to  his  home ,  I  often  fell  into  conversation  with  him ,  and w e  got  to  know  each  other   quite  well.

He  did  ,  in a  very  neighbourly fashion  ,  take care of the  proceedings in  which    I was  involved  after a  traffic  accident   .  It was  not  in  anyway  a  dishonest  business, either ,  I  hasten  to  add  ,  since  he  had a  strong  ethical  sense . But  he  looked  after  my  interests   well to  nobody  else's  disadvantage .

Likewise  ,  when  my  son  was  learning  to  drive , I  asked  him  one afternoon   whether  he would come  out  with us  in  the  car while I was   instructing   the  lad ,  and see  if  there  were  any infringements  of   driving rules wherewith    I  might  be  leading  the  boy   astray  from  the  righteous   path of  good  driving .  It  is   not  a  good  thing   to  teach  another  member  of  the  family  to  drive    and I  felt  that  Les  might  put  a polish  on his  skills  or  more  importantly  , correct  errors .

So  out  we  went  ,  all  around  he  main streets  of  the  town  and  out  into  the rougher country  tracks  .  John  drove  well ,  and when  he  did a  hill  start on  a  steep gravel  road  ,  Les remarked  that  he could   see  nothing   wrong with   his  driving  ,  and  that  he  wished  he  himself   could  hill  start  as  well  as the  boy  did .  Naturally    we were   very  pleased     and  John  was  even  more  so   when  he  walked  into  the  Police  Station  to  arrange  to go  for  his  licence test.  Les  was at  his  desk  ,  and  simply  told  the  young   constable  to  issue  the  licence, remarking  that  he  would  vouch for   the  boy.

But  the most  interesting  occurrence  with   Les    was  when  I  was  chatting   with him one  Sunday  morning .   Not long  before , a  young constable  in  a  western   town not  all  that  far  from  ours   had   been   shot  when  his service issue  pistol  had  jammed  .   It  was a  Biretta  ,  and  it  was  not  the  first  time  that   the  force  had  had   trouble  with them .

As  a result ,  the  make  of the  issue  was  changed   to a  revolver  --  a  traditional  style  of  six  shooter  .

I  asked Les  what  he  thought of  his  new  weaponry,  and  in  the  ongoing conversation  he  remarked    that he  had  never  even  fired  it ,  though  he  had  been  issued  with a  certain  number  of  cartridges per  month  for  target  practice. 

Tell  you  what  ,  he  said  ,  come  on  out  to  the reserve with  me  ,  and  we'll  try  it  out  .

There  was  of   course   no  way  that  John  would  be  left  out  of such an  event ,  so  he  volunteered to  come  too.

The  reserve  was  a  couple  of  miles   from  our  place  ,  so  we  piled  into  the   blue  police  car  and  out we went  .    On  arriving  there  we found   an  old   tin  can  and  set it  up  on a  stump . 

I  was  given  first  shot .

I  hit  the  stump --   I  think  ! 

John  had  next  go ,  and  he did  hit  the  stump.

Then  Les  tried --   and  missed  everything  .
   So  it  seemed  that  desperate bandits  would  have  not much  to  fear  from  him  ,  were  he  called  upon  to  use  the  gun.

We  all  thought it  was harmless   fun.

But you must  bear  in  mind  that   this  was a Sunday  --  and  shooting   on Sundays  was  illegal --   though  not  a  law  that  very  many  obeyed  .  It  is  also  illegal  to use  firearms  on a  reserve .

Thus  it  was  no  surprise  when  a  utility  truck  came   racing   up  along  the  track--  with a  no  doubt  irate  law -abiding   body   ready  to  denounce  us  .    When  , however ,the  driver  saw  the police  car  there  ,  he  made  an  even  hastier   exit  .

I  assume  he  was  not  so  law -abiding  as  to  wish  to  become  involved  in  what  he  must  have thought  was a  cops  and   robbers   siege  scenario .


Reviews

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 13th January 2007
I enjoyed reading this, Patterjack, and congratulate you on having a son who managed to learn to do a hill start on gravel and pass his driving test so soon. You are also to be commended for having the foresight to take an experienced non-family member with you while teaching your son: I know from painful experience that you can pick up a lot of bad driving faults just watching or listening to experienced drivers who have not necessarily followed driver training trends. I still know people who slam on their brakes while going around corners instead of putting them on gently before entering the bend.  
 
Your ending is funny: the thought of the angry citizen ready to ball you out -- until he saw the police car. But I would have done exactly what he -- or she -- did.

Written by Phil (6383 comments posted) 14th January 2007
I've been teaching my oldest to drive. No easy thing, but no cross words - yet.  
 
(I didn't realise the police carried weapons over there) 
 
I enjoyed this Brian. Another example of how you turn the ordinary into very readable pieces. I just hope your other neighbour wasn't a brain surgeon with a new scalpel to try out! 
 
Phil.

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3133 comments posted) 15th January 2007
Ididn't know the police over there had guns either. 
This was a rell;y enjoyable read.. You are a natural storyteller. I bet you have a fund of these anecdote stored up from a rich and varied life but it's not just the stories but the ability to tell them. I remember being told in a writing seminar "There are no boring stories only boring writers" Im sure you could make any story interesting 
cheers 
J
wow..this is cool
Written by milz (35 comments posted) 19th January 2007
i read it...what a work you have... 
keep it up!

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