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Poetry
In Which I Disown My Arse
By Talisker
15 January 2007
My own arse is making a fool of me,
springing surprises like a magician’s hat.
Never the perfect chocolate submarine
of my youth.  Slipping silent, odourless,
into the gullet of no return.

What have I done to you, arse,
to be mistreated thus?
I gush the taps, in vain attempt,
to drown your unholy cacophony.
An arse is not supposed to sneeze!

Clean your own revolting mess!
And don’t come crying to me
with shredded, reddened sphincter!
The doing was mine, yet not mine,
I am not my arse’s keeper.

Had I insulted you with Imodium,
or curry, or stout, or sickly prunes,
I would expect as much.
Yet gentle chicken and rice?
I am done with you!
You are no arse of mine!

Oli 15/01/07

Reviews

Written by Phil (6845 comments posted) 15th January 2007
Loved it Oli. Entertainment all the way. Sorry to laugh at your expense, but there are some fantastic lines in this. Others may quail in front of your beshitted backside, but I salute it!  
 
It reminded me a friend's dog. When it farted it used to look at it's behind: first in surprise and then in disgust. 
 
All the best, Phil. :grin :grin :grin

Written by Phil (6845 comments posted) 15th January 2007
My son (11 years old and really shouldn't be reading this) really enjoyed this.
Hi Phil
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 15th January 2007
Guess that about pinpoints my intellectual age level! 
 
May I never grow up! 
 
Oli 
 
:grin

Written by Phil (6845 comments posted) 15th January 2007
You and me both Oli. You and me both.

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