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The Real Man's Washing Machine
By Snodlander
17 January 2007
Entered this is a competition for the best future invention.

I was limited to 200 words

(195 words)

The Real Man's Washing Machine:

Inspired by my son’s bedroom.  And every other room in the house he visits.

The washing machine fascia will be covered with buttons and flashy lights.  They will all do one thing:  Switch the thing on, but the Real Man will look knowledgeable doing it.

It has a robot attachment that periodically goes to the bedroom and gets dirty washing from the washing basket.  And the floor.  And under the bed.  And hung over anything else.  Ditto the bathroom, the living room and the cupboard under the stairs.

It has a diary synchronization feature, which will ensure that the Real Man's Pulling Shirt will be ready before he goes out on a Friday night.

The Real Man's Washing Machine has a pre-wash, wash, spin, dry, iron, fold and put-away cycle.  An Internet function will automatically order washing powder, which will be self-filling.

Optional extras:

A darning feature, for those old jeans you will never throw away.

Custom Nutz article, stating that whatever colour that sock was that you washed with your shirt is guaranteed to pull birds.

A Voice Chip that says “It’s in the drawer where it always is”

Reviews
hehehehe
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 17th January 2007
Parental bliss - you should have kept the knees together and the hand on the ha'penny all those years ago. 
 
Personally I prefer the old fashioned approach. It pays to keep believing in Santa and the "Washing Fairy". 
 
Oli :grin

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3446 comments posted) 17th January 2007
I think I saw one in my local cash and carry, there was a crowd of of scruffy young-(ish) men fighting over it. 
Very imaginative and funny, but as I'm sure you know ,snoddy,adolescents already have a machine that does all that, it's called the washing basket,just drop clothes in there and they magically appear clean and pressed in the drawer days later. 
Laughts a-plenty 
J

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 17th January 2007
This had me laughing.  
 
We used to have such a machine in this household, but selfishly, she has decided to go on strike for an indefinite period of time.  
 
I love the idea of a washing machine that makes a man look knowledgeable. Jeez, the things technology can come up with nowadays.
Good Fun
Written by richard (88 comments posted) 17th January 2007
Enjoyed it. Good fun. However, it also needs a function to spot when clean clothes have been thrown in the washing basket because the kids are too damn lazy to fold them up and put them away - and ideintify anything dry clean only and take it into town!! 
 
Richard

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 17th January 2007
As BBS and Witsl pointed out, they already exist. But strangely enough they are often chosen for their design rather than their special functions. So if you realy want this to sell, it should look as if it was designed for quite another purpose. 
It doesn't matter if it can't do anything, the scruffy young(ish) men BBS mentioned will be attracted to it like flies to honey.

Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 17th January 2007
Good fun piece. I think the teenage version needs a 'drag the lazy buggers out of bed' feature. 
 
Phil.
Quite liked this
Written by johniebg (553 comments posted) 18th January 2007
... although it sounds like your describing the role of so many put upon housewives and limiting this as a future invention. 
 
I liked the irony in this, which is a forte of yours but it felt a little cliche. 
 
I would liked to have seen the next great future invention as one that gave wimp boy 'balls' but guess that would need more than 200 words.

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