Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Witness for the Prosecution
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1488 guests online and 18 members online
Poetry
Witness for the Prosecution
By pandora
17 January 2007
Witness for the Prosecution

Though it has been 16 years
I still bear your evil seed.
You took all that I had
and twisted it to satisfy
your pathological mind.

You preyed upon my
desperation...
to feel special and loved.
You were the adult
I was the child
only seeking refuge
from the devastation of abuse.

My vulnerability
was your weapon,
which you used to
pilfer and plunder
vandalizing my body.

You singled me out
with secret caresses
and little gifts.
You said I was beautiful,
made me feel unique, desired.

Whispered in my  ear
"never tell".
You made it seem
romantic and exciting.

Until you were done with me
ripping out my vision of love
leaving me damaged,
unable to love again.

You would have been
another buried memory
if I had not found
the letter yesterday.

"Thanks for your testimony, it was crucial in getting the conviction."

Reviews

Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 17th January 2007
I was with you all the way with this one until the end. The statements and imagery mixed together was pretty effective. 
The ending was unexpected but didn't work for me as I'm not sure exactly wjat you are saying. There could be a few different thngs. Sometimes this can work, leaving the reader working it out. In this case, I thnk it needs to be a little blunter. 
My opinion, sort out the last few lines and you'll have a very god piece here. 
 
Phil.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 18th January 2007
Some good bits in this - I liked the stanza beginning 'you singled me out' and the stanza following it. I didn't mind the ending so much. There is a lot of emotive language in here - for me the piece would have been stronger if the language was simpler. Showing us rather than telling us to be cliched. That's a personal leaning though rather than anything definitive. Nice idea. 
 
Elli

Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 19th January 2007
A good poem. 
I actually liked the last line, but that's probably because I'm eager to see justice done.
Witness for the Prosecution
Written by Amos_Quito (1 comments posted) 20th January 2007
Read it first in the conventional manner, i.e. from top to bottom and had an ambivalent reaction about it. However, when I read from the bottom up (yes, I'm not kidding!) it made much more sense to me. Oh, and it was enjoyable. Thank you.

Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 21st January 2007
Came back for another look at this, read Amos' comment, thought, 'What a load of old cobblers,' but he/she is quite right. I still like it the proper way up though. 
Phil.

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item