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By gutterkitty
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17 January 2007 |
I am parched for time.
My skin is brittle,
yellow.
It dreams of cool minutes,
baths brimming with hours.
But the days spin past like the sun.
Nails Skin contracts.
crack.
Lips like the Sahara,
split. I grow dizzy
as I watch the
weeks spiral
down the
sink.
Leaving me in a drought,
yellow, sickly with thirst.
I long for an oasis. To drink months,
to feel them settling in my belly,
shifting gently. I won’t ask for years-
only minutes, dripping off the tip
of my nose.
To lick a second from my lip,
to fill a glass with you.
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Very Good! Written by katerinaballerina (1 comments posted) 18th January 2007 | | Loved it! Good imagery and emotion. Made me feel sad which I think was the desired outcome as I can totally empathise with how this person feels. | Enjoyed Written by pandora (15 comments posted) 18th January 2007 | I enjoyed reading this. Just a suggestion; there are a couple of words you use more than once. While this is not a writing crime, maybe the detail would be better with a swap of words. I really like your format, it fits this piece perfectly.** | Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 18th January 2007 | I love this, in fact I wish I had written it. For me, very very good. Elli | Written by Phil (6383 comments posted) 18th January 2007 | Yep, liked this very much too. Liked the way you'd formatted this as well. Not easy in the GW editor. Phil. | Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 19th January 2007 | Thanks guys I'm glad you think the format works- I wasn't sure about it. pandora- I tend to experiment with repetition, so I did realise I'd repeated myself! Sometimes (or perhaps more often than that) it doesn't work. elli- I felt that way about your "Stencil"- poet envy for sure  | A Glass Full of Hours Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 29th January 2007 | Dear Gutterkitty, The kind of poetry I would like to write. Wonderful use of the English language. Tempus fugit, weather old or sick the hunger for time in your poem is beautifully expressed.A VERY original poem. marybarry | A Glass Full Of Hours Written by pasinger (13 comments posted) 29th January 2007 | Good descriptive writing. Good imagery. Variety of expressions conveying diffferent emotions. We all need glasses of hours but sadlly with each new day they quickly slip away. Well written. | Written by MaxCarey (7 comments posted) 13th March 2008 | I love this! Great use of type as a visual tool as well as a way of getting words onto a page. Is the yellow skin that of somebody with a physical illness and little time left to live, or is it purely a metaphor for how somebody starts to feel when they consider the weight of time's passing? I don't think it matters either way, I like the way it is open to interpretation! | Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 13th March 2008 | | Thank-you! It seems strange to me that people seem to really like this poem because I'm not a big fan to be honest. I can answer your question if you like, but you seem happy with your interpretation. |
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