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For Children
The Atenstone bitesize instalment 2.
By Songster
18 January 2007

Next instalment,

Thanks for the crits. The Atenstone has to be introduced by another character, coming soon.


When Brad arrived home he was disappointed to find that Uncle Frank was still out  I hope he’s getting some food, he thought.
     All he could find in the fridge was a bottle of milk, two eggs, four wrinkled mushrooms and a limp lettuce.  Will it be baked beans and oven chips again,  he wondered.  Brad’s boarding school stomach was used to three square, sit down meals a day.  It was protesting against Uncle Frank’s rather haphazard attitude to food.   
     “Will there even be Christmas dinner this year?” he asked the inside of the fridge.
He found a packet of cornflakes and, after suspiciously sniffing the milk, poured it on and sat down to watch television while he waited for his uncle to come home.
     He was surprised, when he heard a key click in the latch, to hear two voices.  “Ah Brad,” said his uncle as he entered the room, “meet Seth Darkland, a colleague of mine”
     Uncle Frank was a tall man but Seth Darkland was half-a-head taller.  His thick copper coloured hair was worn slightly below collar length, his eyes were immediately noticeable for their brilliant green colour.  He gave Brad an engaging smile, showing a set of perfect teeth.   
     “Call me Seth,” he said,  “Mr Darkland’s much too formal.”  Brad felt at ease and liked him immediately
     Uncle Frank had brought home plenty of food and, while he bustled about preparing a meal, Seth folded his long frame into a chair and settled down to ask Brad all about himself.  Soon Brad was telling him about his find on the beach. He felt in his pocket and brought out the coin.
     “It’s Roman,” said Seth, “and in surprisingly good condition.” He took it and rubbed off some tarnish with a handkerchief. “See here the head of Claudius and the date,” he pointed to XXX. He describes how Roman numerals work and  gives the actual date. “ That makes it ….. years old..”
     Brad was thrilled, “Is it valuable?” he said.
     “Small coins like this are fairly common but the local museum would probably be  delighted to have it as part of local history display,”  said Seth. 
      “Do you think there might be more stuff to find on the beach?” Brad asked. “I’m going back there tomorrow”.
     “A large collection of coins is more likely to be found inland,” said Seth. “This is probably a single coin dropped by a soldier but there might be more, it’s worth another try.”
      “You won’t want to go treasure hunting tomorrow unless this rain lets up,” said Uncle Frank. 

Reviews

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 20th January 2007
I think this is moving along quite well. You've introduced a couple of characters - Unc we know something about already, but his friend you've left pretty blank except for his outward appearance. I would have liked a little more interaction to give a few more clues as to what he is like and perhaps a hint at what he's doing in the story. This chapter feels unfinished; almost as if you've just chopped a longer chapter randomly in half. 
 
I think you need to avoid this turning into Enid Blyton, you're getting closer by the word! 
 
I am intrigued by this and will read more. 
 
Phil.
Enid Blyton - how cruel.
Written by Songster (52 comments posted) 21st January 2007
This is all still in draft form and I agree this needs a bit more detail and action but it is actually only here in order to introduce Seth. I am still scene setting and bringing Brad nearer to the following morning. I didn't want to lose him entirely because a fairly ong section, from now on, involves only Tuppence.Not to give too much away I have not tried to display Seth's character too deeply because, though Brad likes him, he is not as he seems. This is a goodies and baddies quest thing, and the goody (or is he?) has yet to make an appearance. 

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