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Working on the Golden Gate |
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By Witzl
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20 January 2007 |
Another 100-words or less story. . .
WORKING ON THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE The winds were fierce up there; gale-force, and laced with salt. Most of the men talked as they worked; Simon studied the surface of the water below. Suicide barriers won’t keep the sickos from killing themselves, Joe and Marco said. They’ll just find another way. All this work, all this expense just to keep a few psychos alive. Simon regarded the churning water below, the glassy green-and-blue foam-speckled surface. Cold it would be -- hard enough to shatter a man’s spine. As he stepped off the side, he was amazed he’d found the nerve. |
mmnn
Written by johniebg (538 comments posted) 19th January 2007 | | you should have posted this first, the other 100 word story makes this look pretty ordinary and very predictable but you did get it all in under 100 words which is an accomplishment by itself. |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 20th January 2007 | Actually I almost liked this one better...I didn't particularly spot the twist and I loved the last three sentences - very very strong image for me.
Elli |
Written by Phil (6435 comments posted) 20th January 2007 | So do I get the casting vote?
This lacks the high quality of the first, but I know which will stay in my mind longer - this one.
Sitting on the fence. Enjoyed them both.
Phil. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3174 comments posted) 21st January 2007 | Hi, well having read both I think I prefer this one. I thought the end was stronger and with very short stories the ending is all important. It was set up well; visually written giving no hint to the ending. It is said that good endings should be surprising but inevitable and this fills the bill perfectly
J |
Written by coosh (822 comments posted) 22nd January 2007 | | Also preferred this one, because of the images you create. It instinctively brought to mind footage of guys working on the Sydney Harbour Bridge, and that famous photo of about a dozen men having lunch on a girder high above New York City. Powerful and memorable. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 22nd January 2007 | | Thank you, everyone, for reviewing this tiny story. My cousin and I once met a man in a bar who was part of a crew who painted the Golden Gate Bridge. I was dying to ask him if he ever got the urge to jump -- I always think about jumping off buildings and bridges and I'm not in the least suicidal -- but I never got up the nerve to pose this question. I'll bet he did, though. |
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