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For Children
Station Road - Chapter Four
By Phil
20 January 2007
Still issues in here with Billy calling Mr Brown by first name. Pondering that one.

Chapter four

CRICKET AND MEMORIES.

The next day was Saturday.  I’ve always been an early riser and so I was up drinking my morning cup of tea and eating toast and Marmite before anyone else in the street was stirring.  It was a beautiful late September morning.  There was a clear blue sky that promised a warm day ahead.

  Anyway, after a bit of pottering around I settled down in the parlour. I suppose that’s what you’d call the front room or lounge these days.  The paper had just arrived and from my chair I had a good view of the street.  When you get to my age it’s almost as much fun watching other people do things as it is doing them yourself.

 I’d just finished reading the sports pages and was about to see what was happening in the world at large when I saw Hugh Pugh cross the street and knock on the Bartholomew’s door.  After a short wait a boy appeared at the door who was of a similar age to Hugh.  He was carrying a cricket bat and they’d soon set up a scratch game using an old milk crate as stumps.  Hugh was bowling and the Bartholomew boy was batting.

 Hugh wasn’t much of a bowler, but the Bartholomew boy could certainly swing that bat.

 About five minutes later Billy appeared and started talking to Hugh.  Now I’m not much of a lip reader, but it was clear that he wanted to join in the game.  Hugh wasn’t very keen by the looks of things but eventually he gave Billy a shove and pointed down the street.  Billy’s face brightened up and he trotted off and took up his fielding position.

 The game went on for quite a while with Hugh and the Bartholomew boy taking it in turns to bat and bowl while poor old Billy just kept running up and down fetching the ball and throwing it back to whoever was bowling.

 Well you can probably imagine how frustrated I was watching this with neither of the boys offering Billy a turn at batting or bowling.  I had a good mind to go out there and sort them out when Billy decided the same thing.  He’d just fielded the ball near to the bowling crease, a water board man-hole cover, and took a run up and bowled a beautiful off spin ball at Hugh.

 “What you doing?”  Even I heard Hugh shout this through my front window.  “Who said you could bowl?  Get lost!”

 Well I was up and at my front door before you could say Jack Robinson, but before I had chance to sort it out Mr. Pugh was there to smooth things out.  Or so I thought.

 “Billy Grimson,” he growled.  “What have I told you?  I don’t want the likes of you playing with my Hugh.”

 “But I was only…...”

 And before Billy could say any more Mr. Pugh was into him again.  “I don’t want any of your back chat lad.  Go and play with your own kind.”

 Hugh Pugh stood there looking wickedly self satisfied.  He tipped a wink at the Bartholomew boy.

 “He just came and butted in dad.  He said he’d batter us if we didn’t let him play,” he whined.

 With out another word Billy turned heel and trudged back towards his house staring at his scuffed trainers as he went.  Well I couldn’t help myself.

 “Billy,” I said.  “Do you want to come in and have a biscuit and a drink.  It looks like hot work, all that running around.

 I know children are not supposed to talk to strangers, but we were on first name terms and I did live next door after all.  Across the street Mr. Pugh just glared at me and then went back into his house slamming the front door.  That was one enemy I’d made, but I wasn’t bothered about counting him amongst my friends.

 Billy cheered up immediately and headed straight for my door.

 “Chocolate or cream?” he asked.

 “Whatever you fancy Billy.”

 “Thanks mister, I mean Ted.”




As I’ve probably told you, I’d not been moved in long and there were still a few boxes here and there that still needed unpacking.  Billy sat on one while I made him a glass of squash and got the biscuit tin out.

 “What you got in all these boxes then?” Billy asked.

 That was quite a difficult question to answer.  I mean I’d unpacked all the things I really needed like clothes and tea-pots and such.  What was left were the things Elsie and me had collected or saved over a life time together.  These were things that all held special memories.  I’d been meaning to unpack them for a few days but just couldn’t face it.  Now seemed like as good a time as any.

 “Let’s have a look shall we Billy?” I said with more jollity than I felt.

 Billy jumped up and prized open the lid of the box he was sat on.  It was marked ‘treasures’ in black felt pen.

 “Is there loads of jewels and things in here then Ted?  We’ve been writing about pirate’s treasure in school.”

 “No Billy.  Just things that are valuable to me.”

 He looked a bit disappointed but started to lift things from the box and spread them on the floor.  The first thing that caught his eye was a framed photograph of Elsie and me stood at the end of Suncliff-On-Sea pier.  It must have been taken nearly thirty years before.  We both looked quite young and very happy.  I can clearly remember asking another day tripper to take the picture.

 “I know that place,” said Billy.  “It’s Suncliff-On-Sea isn’t it?  We go there every summer.  Or at least we did until my dad took ill.”

 I was dying to ask him about his dad, but as soon as the words were out of his mouth he was back in the box lifting out Elsie’s special box.  The one she kept her jewellery in.

 “I thought you said there was no treasure in here,” he said with a grin.

 “Oh that’s not treasure, not really.  There’s just Elsie’s rings and things in there.”

 “Who’s Elsie Ted?”

 “Well, Elsie was my wife.”

 “Where is she then?”

 This was turning out harder than I expected.  Elsie and me had never had children, although we’d wanted them, and I wasn’t used to such direct questions.  Not that Billy was being rude or anything.  He was just inquisitive.

 “Elsie’s dead Billy,” I said.  It was harder to say aloud than I’d imagined and I had to look away so as not to let him see I had a tear in my eye.  “She died a few months ago, before I moved in here.”

 Billy looked crest-fallen.  “Sorry Ted.”  He got up to go.

 “No, it’s alright Billy.  She was a lovely lady and I miss her, but I’ve got to get on with it.”

 He looked at me and then at the jewellery box.

 “Go on then,” I said.  “Let’s see what’s inside.”

 Well, there wasn’t much.  Her wedding and engagement rings and a few pairs of clip-on earrings.  She’d never held with ear piercing.  

 “If God had meant me to have holes in my ears,” she’d say, “I’d have been born with them.”

 Underneath all of this was a velvet purse.  Billy gently unfolded it and tipped it up onto his open hand.  Out fell the necklace with the single diamond I’d bought her when I’d won the pools all those years ago.

 “Wow Ted.  That’s lovely,” he gasped.

 “Now that’s the only thing in there that’s worth any real money.” I said.

 “Best put it back in the wallet then,” Billy said, carefully placing it back inside and folding the purse up again.

 “I know.  Why don’t we put the jewellery box there on the side board where I can see it?”

 Billy held it out in front of him and carried it over to the sideboard as if he was carrying the crown jewels.  He put it down next to the clock and gasped.

 “Flippin’ eck!  Is that the time?  I’m supposed to be looking after dad and Little Al so mum can take Michelle to town to get some new shoes.  She’s going to kill me.”

 He headed for the door in quite a hurry and then stopped, looking back at me.

 “Thanks for the biscuits and drink Ted,” he said.  “You’re alright you are.”

 “My pleasure Billy.  Come back any time you like.”

 “I will.  See you!”

 And with that he was gone leaving me alone with a half unpacked box and a mind full of memories.  I knew I was right about Billy.  He was a nice boy, and all the people around here who thought otherwise could boil their heads!

Reviews
hi, thanks for your comments.
Written by milz (35 comments posted) 20th January 2007
Wow, youre pretty good. You knew i'm still young. But I'm trying to develop my skills. I wanna be a writer.. 
anyway..thanks 
:grin

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 20th January 2007
Liked this one Phil - sets up the intrigue about Dad nicely so I'm wondering what's wrong with him. 
 
It's nice to hear more about Billy and you set up an empathy for Billy and a dislike of the other kids well. 
 
Think I've got some more thoughts on this but I'm going to sit on them for a while. Enjoyed the read. 
 
Elli
Aha!
Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 20th January 2007
I guess I know where this is going... Let's just hope the target group does not. 
What I'm still wondering about though, is why the neighbours dislike them so much. Allright, they may look out of place, but that's not a good enough reason. When did the conflict start? 
I think this is developing well, but I'm still not sure if Ted is the best possible narrator. 
Looking forward to the next chapter.

Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 20th January 2007
I'm not sure if Ted is the best possible narrator anymore, but I've written too much now (up to chap 8) to have a radical change in POV.  
 
As for why the neighbours don't like the Grimsons: there's a very unpleasant and very British trait where many people think they know their place on the social ladder and presume to know that of others. I suppose it's what is left of the class system. This combined with small minded people jumping to small minded conclusions will hopefully explain why the Grimsons are not liked. They are scruffy, their father does not work, their dog runs wild, one of their daughters looks and behaves like a boy. For many British people, this is more than enough. Many Brits have to feel superior to someone to justify their own existence. The Grimsons neighbours on the other hand are respectable, at least on the surface. Underneath the superior, holier than thou surface runs prejudice, fear and hate. If at least some of this does not come across, then I've failed somewhere along the line. 
 
Thanks for the review Fledermaus, I appreciate it. Given me plenty to think about. 
 
Phil.
Just a little nit-pick.
Written by Songster (52 comments posted) 21st January 2007
I haven't seen the earlier part of this yet but will follow it with interest from now on. I don't know how children will take to an old man as a narrator, but maybe they will.  
Just a little nit pick is, in the time this is set, did children use the term 'get lost'?

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3446 comments posted) 22nd January 2007
Firstly could I suggest a quick recap of characters and events so we don't have to back track to earlier chapters. 
 
I like the way this is progressing and I like the questions you have set up, they should keep the reader going [but don't forget to answer them and when you do set up new ones] Michael Lawrence, JK Rowling and Diana Wynne Jones use this technique to great affect. 
The characters are starting to come alive and some tension created. So far Ted as the POV character is working but at some time you may have to hand it over to the kids, perhaps by giving the kids eye view of Ted and just bringing Ted in occasionally. I know you've already written a lot of it but it could be slotted in without too much disruption [I only suggest this as you have expressed doubts] 
Anyway looking forward to more 
J

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 26th January 2007
I just wrote a nice long review on this and managed to wipe it out. Damnation. 
 
Just wanted to say that I have been following this with interest: I am worried about what is going to happen to Elsie's diamond ring.  
 
I do want to hear this story from Billy's side at some point: I think it would be fun to hear what he thinks about Ted, and I also want to hear what he says about the other kids. Little shits. 
 
Personally, I like stories where the POV shifts, but I read just recently that in children's books it is best to keep the POV the same; that children largely identify with children and want to follow one POV throughout the book. I find this a little cramping and cannot wholly believe it is always true, but that is what I read. I will try and find a copy of the article for you if you are interested.

Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 26th January 2007
Thanks Mary. I'm kind of beginning to regret having Tom as first person narrator as it is now restricting the perspective I want to give. I think I'm in agreement with whatever it was you read though. Children can cope with lots of complexities, but a change in POV might be a little sophisticated. I'm up to chapter eight and haven't changed POV yet. Determined to finish this as I've given up on all longer pieces before. Perhaps I shpuld plough on, take feedback on its worth and then rewrite. 
 
Thanks for following this and commenting, 
 
Phil.

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 26th January 2007
You should definitely finish this! Do NOT stop midway and leave it, or you will never go back to it. Or at least that has been my experience.  
 
If you finish this then want to change it, you can always go back and rearrange it. But if you leave it halfway finished, going back to it is far harder. This is so promising, that it would be a shame for you not to go all the way with it.  
 

Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 26th January 2007
I've just managed to catch up with this, Phil. I really enjoyed this chapter - very moving in places. I loved the way Ted stood up for Billy, and didn't follow the pack. I thought it was a very moving scene, where Ted was showing Billy his wife's jewellery, and he talked about her. Billy seems to me to be a very kind hearted child, and I think the neighbours have got him all wrong. 
 
I'm in agreement with the others - don't give up on this now! It's a lovely story, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. You obviously have a talent for writing for children. :)
Hi Phil
Written by jean.day (2326 comments posted) 27th January 2007
I like the idea of the Ted POV - and as long as he continues to interact with the kids, I think it should work okay for kids too.  
 
I've come around to thinking that letting Billy call him Ted was all right - in fact, I should think Billy would think it was a very good thing - and would mean that he and Ted would talk on a level - as they do in this chapter - rather than having it be adult to child.  
 
I had to smile at the bit about clip on earrings. My husband is the one who says that he does not approve of me having holes in my ears.  
 
And for Songster - even in the olden days we said, Get lost.
Last again!
Written by Josie (2825 comments posted) 26th June 2007
But not least. I'm really getting into your story now Phil. I think that the fact that the jewellery has been shown is leading us towards something. I wonder if there will be a theft. One small thing: side board followed by sideboard. I have to admit that my husband proofreads some of my stuff before it goes on the internet, and there are lots of corrections to be made. He would tell you this. ha ha.

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