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Poetry


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Nonsense poem...

By milz

21 January 2007

Well, I just kinda' love doing nonsense things. Especially in poetry. In poetry, you have the poetic license to do and write such nonsense things or ideas. haha..[cute]

Did I mention a name?
The moon, gets light oh shame
It gives protection at night, dont blame
I have never gotten the same
When he smiled and came
I feel drops of rain
What shall I do?. in this insane?
Please stop it, dont sore
I have never felt this before
But my heart still jumps in the core

Reviews

such a nonsense one eh?
Written by milz (35 comments posted) 20th January 2007

i know this poem really sounds as NOTHING..really nonsense..rilLie? anung say mu?

milz

it is not nonsense
Written by tabarejos (21 comments posted) 22nd January 2007

It just lacks polish. You have a pretty nice, uhm, how would you call this... uhm, premise. Yeah, nice plot, however, not all things with nice plots necessarily have good execution or ending. The way the movie "Artificial Intelligence: AI" had a nice plot, but didn't make up for it as the story went and ended.

All of us still have a lot to learn, and what I have recently learned I am willing to share with you.

First is your rhyming that really sounded forced. Don't let your poem go dictated by rhyme.

I don't know if I have a problem in understanding but I really didn't see any connection between most of your lines, apart from the rhyme.

For example:

Did I mention a name?
The moon, gets light oh shame

You should exert more affort in giving attention to what you want to say rather than how you want your poem to sound when read aloud.

And second, don't be too hard on yourself. Calling your poem 'nonsense' wouldn't invite people to read it.

Don't be your own detractor. You can improve this.

I know you will. By then, you will no longer call it nonsense.

thanks tabarejos! :))
Written by milz (35 comments posted) 6th February 2007

i think youre really paying attention to my works. Thanks alot.. THANKS>..

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