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Poetry
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Love Weather
By Talisker
24 January 2007
You drizzle on me.
Gently, softly soaking me,
almost without me noticing.
And yet, suddenly,
I find myself sodden with you.

You shine on me.
In my sleep, your smile warms,
unseen, undeserved, unreturned.
And yet, when I awake,
I find myself recharged with love.

You breathe on me.
The gentle wind, reassuring,
playing on my arm, my neck, my heart.
And somehow your breeze of life,
fills the sails of my soul.


Oli 24/01/07

Reviews
ooh...
Written by no1butClo (341 comments posted) 24th January 2007
pretty =) 
 
nice to see some free verse for a change! Love the idea, works fantastically, but I have one tiny niggle: cut the first "of life" in the third stanza? Sounds a little clumsy atm, unless the repetition was what you were going for...meh, anyway 
 
i like it =) 
 
clo
Hi Clo
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 24th January 2007
You are quite correct, I have taken it out and it is better for it. 
 
I am often guilty of silly repetition - thanks for pointing this one out to me.  
 
Great to have a quality versetress to give intelligent and succinct critique. Thanks. 
 
Oli :)

Written by ellipinnock (1786 comments posted) 24th January 2007
Like this one Oli - first stanza in particular - a fine image. I wonder whether you couldn't drop 'gently' - but that's a pretty subjective point. 
 
Elli

Written by Fledermaus (3488 comments posted) 24th January 2007
Somehow it seems your poems often can be interpreted in different ways. That's their strength, but also a reason to read them carefully. 
I liked it. And considering the positive ring it has, you're certainly blessed to live in Scotland where she is never boring.

Written by JourneyAtNight (318 comments posted) 24th January 2007
Very nice and with lovely images - the last two lines are beautiful. 
 
Cheers 
 
E:)

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 25th January 2007
Lovely - lucky chap too. Particularly liked verse one. 
 
All the best, Phil.
fantasic
Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 25th January 2007
what a fantastic first line of a fantastic piece of work.

Written by francoise (129 comments posted) 27th January 2007
Beautiful piece. Keep coming back to this one and each time i do I enjoy it even more.  
 
 
All the best, Fran

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