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Poetry
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By JourneyAtNight
24 January 2007
I'm not too sure about this one, I don't know if the idea comes across or not.


Ignore the confinement of a window pane
let your eyes be cast, hand in hand with an open mind,
over and past mundane slate rooftops,
Past estranged chimneys long forgotten
by electric fires.

Look still, beyond those sentimental hillsides.
Greener grass maybe,
but each blade a foolish notion
waiting to prick capricious fingers.

The horizon unites the land and sky -
a marriage of colour and light
Amorous sun rays with bashful shadows
dancing on nectarine coloured clouds,
moving with a breeze,
Incandescent and reflecting
off  the tear drops lining our lashes.

Wipe them away
and carry your eyes further, past it all.
Untie lifes blindfold.

Infinity anticipates our footsteps,
so close your eyes and go there.

Reviews

Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 24th January 2007
I like this Esra - I like the whole concept of looking at things differently, removing blinkers and filters. 
 
I think you demonstrate here that you have the eye of an artist. I love the "estranged chimneys" the "sentimental hillsides"  
 
This dreamy poem caught me in a receptive mood for such ponderings. For me, quality work, I really enjoyed reading and contemplating this. 
 
Oli
another pretty one
Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 24th January 2007
really really enjoyed this, agree with all Oli said. 
 
seeing something new/romantic/exciting/inspiring in a 'landscape' [not necessarily physical, methinks] that's old 
 
loved it, 
 
clo x

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 24th January 2007
Loved estranged chimneys and nectarine coloured clouds (wish I'd thought of that one!) - in fact I like the whole piece - some superb imagery in here and a nice concept as well. 
 
I don't, however, like the ending - that last couplet sounds a bit cliched to me - kind of like something you'd see on a motivational poster...That sounds harsher than it was meant to - I do really like the piece but the ending let it down a touch for me. 
 
On the other hand - it may just be me!!! 
 
Elli

Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 24th January 2007
It's a bit too mysterious for me, at least... I'm trying to spot the hidden meaning. I know there must be one, but I cannot find it. 
I liked the second stanza very much though. It could be a poem on its own.
Thanks everyone
Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 25th January 2007
for commenting. I didn't really expect such positive feedback! 
 
Cheers, 
 
E:)

Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 25th January 2007
Catching up tonight and I'm left with little to say as others have said it before me. I would second everything Oli said on this one. Liked it - a lot. 
 
Phil.

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