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By maipenrai
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25 January 2007 |
man's inhumanity to man goes on and on. I am a simple person Sir I know nothing, please don't shout at me Sir my knowledge is little, and my brain hurts, the electric hurts my brain Sir I am a simple person Sir I know nothing. |
Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 25th January 2007 | | wow.. really powerful. liked the way you portrayed it. once or twice, one of my classmates would say something wrong in english like.. "why were you late?" my teacher would say.. and then they'd reply "sir, late of awakeness, sir." and they laugh at her.. and the teacher scolds her. pictured perfectly. great job. :D |
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 25th January 2007 | Are you undergoing Electro Convulsive Therapy? If so, I would refrain from writing for the duration of the treatment.
Oli | thank you
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 25th January 2007 | | riilie,oli thank you both for your comments. |
Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 25th January 2007 | Honestly, first time I read this I thought it was pretty poor. As it's short I read it twice more. I like its clever disguise, extraordinarily simple on the surface, but dangerous and very depressing underneath. It may not be great poetry (I wouldn't know) - but it has great effect.
Top marks from me.
Phil.
PS - Not sure about the title. Maybe that's what has mislead one or two. | Thanks
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 25th January 2007 | | Thanks for your comment Phil. |
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