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By maipenrai
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25 January 2007 |
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I am sat here with you
and it's only just gone two
as the waiter sighs
at the sad old bastards
in the sad bastards corner.
but were just waiting,
just waiting
for the passing of the moon. |
Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 25th January 2007 | really nice.. liked the feel of it, and the imagery.  great job. :D
rilLie | Great Googley Moogley...
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 25th January 2007 | They are out in force today! What on Earth is this?
"I am sat here" ??? Even a Scotsman like me know that this is incorrect grammar!
"We're" as in "we are" requires an inverted comma.
Perhaps you should ask those "Sad Old Bastards" how to write? One of them may well be me!
Shame on you rilLie for praising this tripe!
Offensive to sad old bastards and illiterate to boot!
Oli
| thank you
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 25th January 2007 | | rilie, oli thank you both for your comments. | Well done grasshopper!
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 25th January 2007 | I see Bernie, from your astute critiques of my recent work, that you have mastered the art of subtle sarcasm.
Now we move on to lesson two, how to clean your own arse.
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Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 25th January 2007 | Now now Oli.
Sorry Bernie (?) liked the last very much, but see little for me here.
Only fair to say why.
Didn't like the rhyming couplet it started with - it reads like a school yard clapping ditty.
The image that follows is just too much of a simple observation for me to merit its own poem.
Still, we all have the odd miss. (God knows, I've had a few.)
Phil. | thanks
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 25th January 2007 | Thanks for your comments guys  |
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