My essence knew that it would come to this,
four anguished decades in this weeping glen,
and all for what? To sit and reminisce,
effusing piss and blood, my bitter pen,
resents the hand which guides it.
I know no creature less worthy of life,
or more consumed with vain self-absorption,
as if no other man has known such strife,
nor mortal soul has suffered such contortion,
I stand accused and ask none to acquit.
Life provides no map to guide the child.
Judgements must be made at every turn. False prophets lurk, weak hearts can be beguiled. Some paths are lost, some bridges surely burn. Soon life takes us to some place, who knows where?
Yet, other people seem to know the way,
Their sureness casts our doubt in sharp relief,
we live in earnest longing for the day,
when we can share their strength, feel their belief. Alas, if only human life was fair.
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Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 26th January 2007 | Such a poignant piece Oli, it really struck a chord.
I think everyone is self-absorbed to some extent. We can't help it - we all see the world from our own perspectives so our natural instincts are to relate it to our own lives. I believe it all comes down to whether or not we ACT selfishly or not.
As for people always being so sure about life. I can relate to this. I wish I had the ability to take control and discard my insecurities. However a lot of people out there are simply good at acting, few posess that absolute strength and belief. Everybody has problems they find difficult to deal with, irrespective of size.
And you are more than worthy of life. I think you know that deep down, but I'll reassure you anyway.
I shall stop my rambling now.
Best wishes,
E |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3445 comments posted) 26th January 2007 | I think we all feel like this sometimes I know I do but luckily for you and the rest of humanity I'm not a poet and so don't write poems about it. I'm sure if I did it would be every bit as awful and self-pitying as this.
Incidentally I went to a Burns night and had a fantastic evening. After they piped the haggis in the MC spoke some verses before attacking the haggis with huge knife and I just wondered what they were, everyone seemed to know them. The piper then played a blistering set of tunes with just Bodran accompanying. I've never been a fan of the pipes but I'm a convert now- just brilliant
Back to normal for the next one, eh
cheers
J |
Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 26th January 2007 | Just written five or six hundred words and deleted them. Quite an effect your poem had then - but I'm not ready to reveal the detail of my inner thoughts on the net. I don't know if this is an exploration of possibilities through verse or true feeling. It reads like the latter.
All I can say is, I've been there - often. The thing that pulls me around in the end is the opinion of friends. (Strangely enough, not family) I don't have many friends, but those I have, I value highly. I know they see worth in me and that's enough to pull me out of a spiral like this.
Here's one who sees value in you. Fair enough, it's the small part you choose to expose to us all on the site, but there's value there in abundance - and not just literary.
As for the cocksure bastards that make us all feel three inches tall and inadequate - they're all so terrified of failiure of any kind they act a charade of false confidence because their whole life is a grand act of bluff and double bluff. All my friends have at least a little humility, I couldn't bear them otherwise.
Chin up.
(If this was merely a poetic exercise, I apologise for the ramble.)
All the very best, Phil. | Sorry...
Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 26th January 2007 | ....your writing. Touched me - as I hope you can see above.
Phil. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 26th January 2007 | Other people certainly do seem to know the way. Some really give the illusion of having the world by the tail, and yet they don't. None of us do.
I just found out that someone I have known for years, a woman who seemed absolutely perfect, professionally successful, bright, happy home, beautiful, etc., is an alcoholic, soon to be getting a divorce from her equally excellent husband. For so many years she struck me as someone who unerringly knew the way, and next to her I have felt inept and incapable. Maybe I am particularly dense, but I never would have dreamt that this woman was anything other than very happy with her life.
Phil is right: your friends can pull you out of this. Family are too close to you and their opinions of you are too subjective.
Whether this is a personal statement or not this is a remarkably fine poem, and once again I have to do my best not to feel diminished by your talent. |
Written by amoryblaine (40 comments posted) 27th January 2007 | | one shed's his disease in words!!totally get it.."False prophet's lurk"how true...nice work a little cluttered though and the last line ,well i would reconsider that,but thats just me!Sweet! | moving
Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 27th January 2007 | | a very sad and moving piece but a excellent write all the same. |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 27th January 2007 | Not going to comment on the poetry as such. Just to say that yes, there's a lot in here to identify with. I hope it was a successfully cathartic write and again - here is another who sees value in what she has seen of you.
Heartfelt best wishes
Elli
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Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 28th January 2007 | A very nice style. Considering the length of the sentences I was wondering at first if this was poetry at all, but then I noticed they all rhymed and there was certainly some rythm. Somehow I had to read it twice because I hardly noticed the content as I focussed on the form.
The message is of course one that has been used quite often, but it was interesting how your cynical narrator envied those religious people. |
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