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By alandavidpritchard
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16 June 2005 |
If you find yourself turning your head funny - that's ok. LIKE SO
A poem on its side
looks like a city at night.
Upside down,
like crystals, like stalagmites, stalactites,
or blood -
because we never can say
what we want to say
in a way that is
straightforward
and not shaped and edited
with rhyme and meter
to boast and soften the blow.
Words said so
mislead and hurt -
like a poem
lying
on its side.
(c) Alan David Pritchard |
lovely
Written by umbugjug (46 comments posted) 16th June 2005 | | this is excellent. just one question, is the poem lying on one side, or is it the poet? | good write
Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 16th June 2005 | | another good piece |
Written by maj (20 comments posted) 16th June 2005 |
top stuff  | Like So
Written by paulgpaul (37 comments posted) 17th June 2005 | | I like the palindromic sense you convey, though would suggest that toavoid a clumsy repetition the first 'say' could be changed to 'express. Or would that disturb a metre I've faled toappreciate? | thanks for your comments
Written by alandavidpritchard (59 comments posted) 17th June 2005 | | The first "lie" refers to the poem's position; the second, refers to the poem's veracity. I don't agree with the need to change either of the "say"s - it'll disturb the assonance pattern I need to enforce the irony of the piece. Plus it echoes the expression "say what you want to say". |
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