Need comments on the style, language and the theme. Thanks.
"He stole my toy. He started it. Believe me, mom" said Ali to his mother who was trying to clean his bleeding nose. "Don’t lie Ali. I saw what happened! Never give yourself such excuses to hurt people,” said his mother. “But mom…” Ali tried to explain his own point of view to his mother who seemed having a hard time trying to teach her seven years old son how to behave. “Listen to me my boy. Lying is a very bad habit. People hate liars and avoid dealing with them. You may find what I am saying very difficult to understand…” she looked at her son puzzled face with an effort to hide her smile. “I remember when I was very young, just as old as you are now. I was very noisy girl. I can remember clearly the only time I dared to lie. I went out with our neighbour’s son to play till it was very late. When I came back I found that my mother was waiting me on the door. She was almost crying. I looked at her eyes and I told her that I got lost while coming back from school. She hugged me, as she felt very happy I returned back safe. I felt the anger in her eyes changed to fear the moment she saw me. The only thing I thought about is that I survived being punished.”
“The next day I went to school to find the teacher calling my mother to tell her that I was absent last day. I got ashamed. I can remember my mother embarrassed glances when the teacher was talking to her while she did not know that I was absent. I felt very bad I lied and because I put my mother in such situation.” The mother was enjoying the story as she was telling it to her son. “Did grandma punish you?” Ali asked. “No she did not, which made me to feel that I was nothing. I felt guilty, the feeling got deeper and deeper as long as she remained silent and ignoring me. I felt that I did not deserve her love and that she was greater than my lying eyes can dare to look at her. Simply I could not see her. She disappeared as if she was not there. The deeper my guilt feeling increased the lonely I got. I could not see anybody but myself, for that I was selfish and preferred to save my ass instead of just telling the truth. I went to my mother and I told her that I was sorry to lie and it was very difficult but I did it.” “Why did people disappear?” Ali asked innocently. “Because I lied and the heart that dare lie and cheat people should not have the access to their hearts.”
“People intend to believe others because they are so kind and love everybody. This who lies to people could not think of any one else but himself so he remains alone even his eyes can not observe real loving people.” The mother answered. “Think about what I have just said to you and be honest with yourself before anything else. Good night.” Ali remained alone. He kept thinking about his mother’s story that he can hardly sleep.
In the morning, Ali woke up very early and went directly to see his mother. “Good morning mom.” Ali was very happy to see his mother. “Good morning. Here is your breakfast.” The mother answered in a calm tone. Ali came toward his mother to hug her. He remained for a long tome hanging on his mother neck, smelling her, touching her hair and gazing at her face as if he was looking at her for the first time. “You look tired. Did not you sleep last night?” The mother asked her son. “Yes I could not sleep very well. My nose is still hurting.” Ali said. “Uhh I see.” She replied.
Ali went to school. He was almost sleep in his classes. When it was the Math class Ali was exhausted. When he tried to look at his teacher face he could not see him because of his tiredness. With his mother story in mind, he started with fear rubbing his eyes to clarify the teacher picture, but nothing could work that moment. He looked around in the class but even his friends seemed unobservable. “I lied, yes… I did” Ali said to himself. He raised his hands to see if the selfishness issue in his mother story was right and yes he was able to see his hands. “MOTHER” He screamed. The children laughed when they heard him calling his mother in the middle of the period. “What’s wrong, Ali?” asked the teacher. “I have to see my mom. I am going to look for her.” Ali ran outside the class crying. The school was near the house; it was about two roads to cross. “Mother! Where are you?” Ali called in his mother as he slammed the door open. Ali ran searching in every room as he was crying “I lied I will never lie again. MOM.”
Ali’s mother was visiting the neighbours when she heard the noises out of her house. She went to the house to look for what caused all the noise. “Mom, you are here. I am sorry.” Ali hugged his mother as he saw he entering the house. “Why are you here, Ali? You should be in your school.” Asked the mother. “No I should not. I have to apologize first. Mom, I could not hold it when I saw my teacher disappearing in front of my eyes and all my friends too.” Said Ali crying. “No my little boy don’t cry. I will accept your apology if you will promise not to lie again.” “I promise,” Said Ali. Ali calmed down. “Mom you were right. The teacher disappeared. I saw him as you did. He was like a ghost. I got scared.” Ali was amazed, as he believed his mother story. His mother looked at his face while he was telling his story in his childish way.
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.