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By maipenrai
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29 January 2007 |
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I stood on the Shamali Plain
and watched the
Red Moon pass behind the
snow capped peaks of the
Hindu Kush.
I felt humbled by such beauty. |
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 29th January 2007 | My goodness! 26 correctly spelt words, just one more to go, that would have been equal to a whole alphabet!
But no, that was a bridge too far! "Beuaty"???
Being prolific is OK, but surely a little more time and care!
The poem? Its what I would have written on a postcard from Afghanistan.
Oli |
Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 29th January 2007 | Maipenrai,
Do not be discouraged by Talisker. He is a BULLY. This is not constructive criticism!!!!
I preferred six words, but you are writing about your feelings and not constantly looking into a dictionary as I imagine he does.
BIG words from a big mouth. marybarry |
Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 29th January 2007 | Jesus Mary.
I thought you were shy about reviewing - quite a dynamic start.
This is going to sound repetitive, but I honestly feel this and your others would benefit from a different treatment. You clearly have a wealth of experiences to draw on that most of us can only imagine. Descriptive narative would suit these very well.
As a poem it poses many more questions than it answers; probably many, many more than you meant. Every time I read something of yours it's a bit like an overfull squirming bag of stuff. Interesting, but I'm dying to see what's on the inside. Hope this makes sense.
Phil. | thanks to all
Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 29th January 2007 | Oli, no postcards on sale mate, not when I have been there.
MaryBerry, Oli is Oli, you get them on every site, not a prob.
Phil, thanks mate, you do make sense, but I do not know the answer. |
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