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Poetry
Helen--love her gently.
By amoryblaine
30 January 2007
the one that "..launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of illium"??
A cheating ex..what can i say.Had to let it out...aarrgghhhhhhhhhhh!Therapeutic.


Like a bow drawn,tense is her face
But her lips part and a smile escapes
Like an arrow hurtling through time and space
It strikes my heart,its marked place.
Hurt and wounded,i surrender
I wave a white flag
She moves towards me tall and slender
To collect her trophy and brag.

On the ground i see bodies littered
Of men that wore their hearts on their sleeve
Oh!why did i not listen?when to me they whispered
And warned me of the magic that she weaves.
Her pouting  lips ,red like fresh blood on snow
Her alabaster skin soft as putty
I hate her now like the men she blows
Just after one free drink she says to all"gently-fuck me "

Bitch!

Reviews
Masculine submission to the call of the
Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 30th January 2007
Greetings Amoryblaine, 
I liked your poem very much indeed. 
 
The reader shouldn't blame Helen. 
If fools allow their hormones to dictate their actions, then the result is their fault and not the bitch's doing???????? 
marybarry
A bit, err gratuitous...
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 30th January 2007
OK, so you got humped and dumped - I suppose as a bit of an emotional enema...not pleasant reading though. 
 
Here's hoping your love life has improved. 
 
oli :)

Written by amoryblaine (40 comments posted) 30th January 2007
Yeah..Talisker..and the Pyramids are just triangles sticking out of the sand!oversimplification my friend ruins all! Sigh ..The pain MAN,the ANGER... :grin
Hi amory
Written by fellpony (1608 comments posted) 30th January 2007
there's a good poem lurking in here, ya know -  
 
some (gentle) criticisms to help you think about remaking, if you decide to: 
 
- please, try not to use "so" - what does it add? 
 
- line 3 doesn't need the apostrophe in "it's" 
 
- you could probably have stopped after: "I hate her now" if you re-arranged the ideas in the second stanza. 
 
OK, it's a commonplace thing to happen and not a happy one, but why NOT make a poem from it? John Keats and W B Yeats did it all the time.  
 
Keep going amory! 
 
 
 

Written by amoryblaine (40 comments posted) 30th January 2007
thanx ...points taken and considered!

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 30th January 2007
Probably your best post to date. (from what I remember without checking back) 
 
Small point you may wish to consider - or ignore. I can't think of ant reason why you didn't capitalise i. Also, if you're going to punctuate, why not put all the marks in, not just some? 
 
Phil

Written by Veronica_Milvus (626 comments posted) 4th July 2008
I just got to this from the random "work awaiting review" section. Wondered whether you ever post to GW these days. I really liked this one. 
 
Vron.

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