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By Talisker
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30 January 2007 |
A deliberately un-PC poem of disgust and not-of-this-time intolerance.
Who opts to be both fish and fowl,
remains foul just the same.
Must there be nothing in these times,
That dare not speak its name?
We spend our lives in vain pursuit,
o’er stretching to reach rotten fruit.
Extending ever moral lines,
perverting nature’s pure designs.
And loss of one man’s soul,
Is loss to one and all.
Soon all mankind,
is thus maligned.
Like beasts fed beasts,
brought plague to man.
Sodom, and tomorrow,
will be a world of sorrow.
Oli 30/01/07
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not sure
Written by fellpony (1580 comments posted) 30th January 2007 | ... where you're going with this one Oli ...
The ref to BSE and its sources is highly arguable, but I won't go there as it's not really a poetic problem but a scientific one.
Rhyme scheme and metre changed a bit as you went along - is that deliberate? "Things fall apart"?
| Moral turpitude
Written by Talisker (1321 comments posted) 30th January 2007 | Hi Sue, most members here know my unfashionable views about society's slide down the laundry chute.
I wrote this ages ago - feeling lazy, I decided to release it today.
The point about BSE is a moot one really. To me it is instictively wrong to feed ground up cattle to cattle.
Oli  |
Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 30th January 2007 | As poetry, I thought this very well put together. Some clever lines, lead-ins and comparisons. It has a (deliberate I expect) Biblical tone that adds gravity to your message.
But - while I agree with some of | Sodding buttons (In keeping with piece!)
Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 30th January 2007 | ....some of what you are saying, I can't go along with it all. Nothing wrong with being non-PC, it's just my personal view that that there's a strong case here for live and let live.
Not picking an argument Oli, too much respect for that.
All the best,
Phil. |
Written by fellpony (1580 comments posted) 30th January 2007 | "To me it is instictively wrong to feed ground up cattle to cattle. "
Yes. I wouldn't ever argue with that - as a farmer I didn't ever do it either - when did you ever see a cow chomping on another cow?
What I meant was that the arguments behind whether "cattle to cattle" in itself was a cause of BSE and / or CJD seem flimsy to me, and that's what I didn't want to start nattering about (it's an o.t. forum or PM subject, if it should be debated at all here). No argument about the intrinsic wrongness of the feed philosophy.
Society's slide down the laundry chute, well, yes, t'was ever thus. Strongly put though.
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 31st January 2007 | Yup feeding dead cow to cows is stupid, so is invading a country without a plan but to quote that great philosopher Bart Simpson "Yeah well what are you gonna do" --twas ever thus
I've got a sneaky feeling that when man first learned to talk the first coherent sentence he spoke [after stuff like "fire" &"run"] was "Things just aren't what they used to be, we're all going to hell"
don't know what will change it,poems certainly won't
Not a bad one,though
cheers
J
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Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 31st January 2007 | | Somehow this remained a bit too abstract. I can see the point you liked to make, that society is getting worse and worse, but in spite of the nice lines and metaphors it's a bit disappointing. There's nothing wrong with the form or the message, but it feels as if something is lacking. |
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