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Non-Fiction
Imps and Pheasants Come Away
By patterjack
01 February 2007
Imps  and  Pheasants  Come  Away.

Our  stay  in  Lincoln was   fairly  short  .  It  is  ,   from  the  little  I  saw  of  the  surrounding  country  ,  rather   flat  ,   but  the     hotel  in  which  we   stayed   had a  nearby  park  with a  gentle  slope  in  it  and  during  the   few   times  when  it  was  not  snowing   ,  and  even  when  it  was  indeed  snowing  ,  there  were   some  youngsters  sledding   down  it  . Quite a  new  sight  for  us   .

In  fact  Lincoln  did  provide other  new  experiences as  to  be  expected  on  our  first  overseas  trip  ,  and  one aspect of  our   stay   has   carried  over    to  an  incident that   occurred    some  twenty  five   years   later  ,  here  where  I   live now .

But  first  things   first  . 

I  am  a  Doctor  Who   fan  ,  and   was  decidedly unhappy  that I  was  missing  Tom  Baker  as  the   Doctor  .  But  the  young  son   of  the  hotel  owners   was  also a  fan  ,  so , though   way  out   of  sequence  ,  I got my  first   sight  of  the  primitive  warrior lady companion .    I  also  heard  the  seven   year  old   continually  remark   Bloody  'ell  !   at   various  incidents    in  the  show  .

Lincoln  also  provided  me  with  my  first   view  of  pheasants  .  The   first   sighting  was   a  lot  of  them  hanging  in a  poulterer's  shop   ,  and  it  brought  to  mind  the  old  claim   that  they  were  best  eaten   just  after    they  had   matured   enough  for   the   tail  feathers  to   fall  out .  I  did  not  investigate  that    .  The  next  time  I  saw  them  was   from  the  train  ,  running  across  a perfectly  flat   snow covered   field  . The  picture remains  stark  and   clear  . Not   for  many  years   after  ,  at   Dondingalong  , did  I see   another   pheasant  in  the  wild   , this   time    a  Coucal  ,  which  startled  me as  I   worked   among   the    lantana   bushes  .

Twenty  years   later  ,  remembering   the  general  scenery  ,  I  think  of  Lincoln  as  being   rather   grim  .  It  could  be  that my  failing  memory   attributes     those  stark  black  and  white   flint  houses   to  that  city  ,  when  it  could  well  have  been  another place  altogther    .  However  ,  the  dark   grey    was  emphasised  against the  stark  white   of  the  snow   at  the   time .  Stark   ,  at  that  season ,  seems  to  be  a  very appropriate  word.     

Of   course  ,  the  Cathedral   was   a  high  point   in  our    viewing .  I  remember  it  as  grim  and  grey on  the  outside  ,  and  this  may  well  have  been  underscored   by  references  to  mass  graves  from  the  time  of  the  plague . But  the  inside  of  the  Cathedral  was  a  revelation   and  this  was  helped   by  our  being approached   by  a     lady  in  a  grey  and  black habit   ,  who  I  think  must  have been  a  Deaconess   or  an  Anglican  nun .

She  was a  most   solicitous   lady  in volunteering   a  guided   tour of  the   Cathedral   ,  for  she  obviously  loved  the  building  and  knew  it   intimately  .

  Of  course  she  first   showed  us  the  famous  Imp  and  old  us  the  stories  associated  with  it   .  From   postcards   bought  later   it  struck  me  that  the  poor  creature  was   suffering  from  talipes    ,  so  I  promptly  sent  a  copy  to a  dancer   friend  who  was  at  that time  suffering  from  very  bad   feet  .  He ,  perhaps  fortunately ,  told  me  later  he   thought  my   twisted sense  of  humour  was funny,  almost  peculiar .

The  assiduous   lady   then  took  us    to  see    the  carving  she  thought  was   the  best  in  the  cathedral  , which was that  of   The  Bear   With  the  Sore  Head    and I very  much  agree  with  her  estimate  . Finally ,  after  she  had  spent  a  long  time  with us   ,  she   sat  us  down  and  bade  us   look  at  the   ceiling  .    Not  being  an  architect   I  have  no  idea   of  what  the  cross  pieces    are  called  ,  but  she  confessed  that  she  had  often  sat   and   gazed  upwards  ,  counting  them  over  and  over  trying  to  make  a  regular  pattern  of  them  .  In  the few  minutes  we  spent    there , I  confess  to  being  baffled   too . 

However ,  it  was  only   two  years ago  ,  after   we  had  moved  to  our  present  apartment  in   the   middle  western  suburbs of  Sydney  ,     that I  needed   to  walk  up  town  to  Concord   Road    to  get  a  paper  or  the   mail  or  something  .    It  was  just  about  then  that  my  spinal  canal  stenosis  had   begun  to  get   bad  ,  and  before  I   had   bought  my  electric   tricycle    .  Therefore   I would   walk a  hundred  meters  or  so  ,  and  find  a  convenient   brick  fence  to  sit  on  to  ease the  pains  before  continuing  .

As  I  sat  on  one of  the    fences I  fell  into  conversation  with a  gentleman  mowing  his   front  lawn .  He  had an  accent  ,  so  as  I  inevitably  do    I asked  him  where  he  was  from  .  He  told   me   that  he was  from  Lincolnshire  ,  so I nattered on with  him about  the city  and  the   Cathedral  .  I   had  not  long  before seen  an  article  in  the  paper  about  the  rewiring   of the  Cathedral    and  he  told  me  that  he  had  been  responsible for the wiring  of  the  sound  system  there    many  years   before.   

Small  world  , as  they  say  ,  and   maybe  the  imp  had   something to  do  with  it  .

Reviews
rib vaulting
Written by fellpony (1717 comments posted) 1st February 2007
is the name of the stone cross pieces of the ceiling. I agree with your bafflement; Lincoln has the oddest arrangement of them I've ever seen - I had to look them up on t'internet though, as I am a long way from there. 
 
 
small world ...
thanks for that info
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 1st February 2007
I thought it best to be honest about my ignorance of the correct term rather than make a wild stab and actually show it . 
The rib patten is indeed dauntingly difficult ! 
 
patterjack

Written by Snodlander (507 comments posted) 2nd February 2007
The warrior companion? Leela, all leather bikini and attitude. After Squara Jane she was such a breath of fresh air. She fueled many an adolescent fantasy. 
 
erm... that's what I'm told, anyway

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 2nd February 2007
I still remember my very first pheasant too, in a field near Coventry. Two of them, so still they might have been posing for me. I made a big fuss of them and my husband has never forgotten this. Even now he'll point them out to me on the road: 'There's another one, Mary!!'  
 
As for Lincoln Cathedral, I have a vague notion of getting a sore neck staring up at the rafters. I don't think I noticed that they were irregular, but after reading this, I want to go back and look at them again.
Sorry
Written by Snodlander (507 comments posted) 2nd February 2007
Sorry, sorry. This isn't a review, sorry, but I can't resist. 
 
A man goes into a butcher's shop and asks for a peasant. 
 
"A peasant? What do you mean?" 
 
"A peasant! One of those birds in the window." 
 
"Idiot!" replied the butcher. "Those aren't peasants! They're phartridges." 
 
Thank you. I'm here all week. Try the veal.

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3567 comments posted) 2nd February 2007
Often when I have read one of your pieces I realise that they are not about what I thought they were about, if you see what I mean; and this is a perfect example. You just take the reader by the hand and we are happy to go along and enjoy whatever the story throws up. It's a rare storytelling gift, Alistaire Cooke was the ultimate proponant of it. It's full of little details, meandering back and forward in time but with a coherent narrative and a good end. And at the end we feel a little better for having read it..It's odd I don't even like Cathedrals and especially not Lincoln which looks like something out of Mervyn Peake but now I feel a bit better disposed towards it-go figure as they say 
cheers 
J

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 4th February 2007
Another very good read Brian. As I said in an earilier review, I lived in Lincoln for a while and thought it very pleasant, but boring. One thing that did strike me while I was there was its beauty, but it does take all sorts. Lincoln cathedral is pretty special. One of the biggest gothic type in the UK but not overly adorned like York minster. 
 
I had my first dealings with pheasant in Lincoln. I had to look after the beer in a pub on Steep Hill. All the beer was real ale in oak casks down in a cellar. Because it was cool down there, they hung the game in the same room. All the birds were left for quite a while and the tail feather test was used. (I think) 
 
Phil

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