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By givitsum
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02 February 2007 |
Happy New Year one & all.
Just a flying visit, should be in a position to integrate back in the fold in a short while, though from where on planet Earth, I'm not too sure just yet.
Rgds Peace Plotters Arrested
Police in Birmingham last night raided 12 addresses, resulting in 9 arrests, in a carefully choreographed operation by Scotland Yard and MI5. Police spokesman Terry Towelling told the gathered press: "I can confirm that 9 individuals are in police custody, and helping our enquiries into an alleged peace plot."
Sources claim the 9 were involved in a plot to undertake peaceful pastimes, with no kidnapping, bombing or praising of the 9/11 bombers whatsoever. The alleged ringleader, Mohd. Attwa, is rumoured to have planned a brass rubbing excursion to the Cotswolds, a trip that investigators claim also included sight-seeing and rambling.
"I'm in total shock!" said nearby bomb-factory owner Sidique Shukran. "They all seemed like such hate filled lads. They've often stopped by my shop to buy fertilizer and and anthrax you know. It beggars belief to imagine them tangled up in something like this."
The tale became even more intriguing last night, when neighbours told the gathered press that none of the arrestees held respectable jobs, with neither a teacher, estate agent or bloke who helped out with underprivelged little scumbags amongst them. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 | This is an occaison, the first Givitsum post of the year; on a par with hearing the first cuckoo of spring. I feel I should write a letter to the Times "Dear sir, Imagine my surprise......
Yep, I like the way to turned everything on it's head, here. I don't think any group could take comfort from this
So malevalently funny and subversive. A great way to show up how psychotic and twisted it all is.
"also included sight-seeing and rambling" -the bastards, the utter bastards ;hanging's too good!!
J |
Written by coosh (844 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 | | Glad to see you back, and on this planet. Good subject, too - given, in part, to the number of times the security forces (particularly in the US) have upped the fear factor by claiming to have saved the world from proven non-existent, post-9/11 plots. There must be an entire character in Terry Towelling - also enjoyed the brass-rubbing, and the idea of estate agents being respectable - in view of this death-trap of a broom cupboard you just sold me - always look forward to your tasteless bollocks, with a touch of whipped cream. Cheers. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 | | I laughed my way through this too. I loved 'They all seemed like such hate-filled lads,' and the fertilizer and anthrax purchases. I could picture a couple of shifty characters a la 'Team America' going into a store and saying 'I'll have about 5 kg of your nitrogen-based fertilizer and, uh, ten grams of your finest anthrax.' And Terry Toweling is a great name. |
Written by Talisker (1321 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 | Very sharp! Its not the quantity, its the quality - and this is quality for me - satire with fangs!
Oli  |
Written by woody44 (774 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 | Welcome back my irreverent friend. Terry Towelling..priceless. It is all there, beautifully turned on its head. If you are looking for somewhere to lay your head I have a very cosy summerhouse(!) at the bottom of the garden..complete with internet connection.
cheers
Woody |
Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 | Enjoyed, as always. Lovely touches in this throughout.
The lucky bugger - I've got a leaky shed at the bottom of my garden.
Phil. |
Written by AtticMan ( comments posted) 2nd February 2007 | | Laughed from start to finish. Liked the 9 arrests from 12 addresses, they must have got lost in all that paperwork. | Shukran Sidiki's
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 | Morning! I've not checked the news yet for updates on this story, but there's gonna be plenty of mileage can be extracted from it.
Thanks to all who posted comments, I'm happy to get the year of with an approval rating of the plus variety, and from some of the site's foremost comedy writers too!
Could well find myself in the Middle East before April. I'll have to give my ol' mucker Ahjinamood or whatever his name is a call to arrange me red carpet and reception committee.
Cheers
Givitsum |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 6th February 2007 | You see someone buying a bag of fertiliser and a box full of nails and you think you've got them pigeonholed and they throw it back into your face and turn out to be a bloody peace fanatic - very inconsiderate behaviour...
Liked this, anarchic as usual and fuinny with it.
Elli |
Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 8th February 2007 | I hate those bastards. There's no arguing with them
You did a great job. I loved it.
Down with all peace mongers. marybarry |
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