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Poetry
First Cry
By Talisker
02 February 2007
A clumsy poem, if a poem at all.  But again, one I needed to write.

Even now, 30 years later, my parents do not know the truth.

I selected the knife from the cutlery drawer,
It was the second smallest of a full set
mum had got from the milkman.
She had collected some tokens I think.
The brand name was “Skyline”.

This one had a dagger shaped blade,
straight on top, not curved like the peeler,
like a small cook’s knife, six inches long,
modern, shiny, cold, keen-edged.
The plastic handle felt perfect
in my little fist, snug, sure.

I heard the noises of ordinary life
from the adjacent living room,
Trying to draw me back from the brink,
of what? Even at that moment I did not know.
In some semi-automatic action
I raised the knife to shoulder height,
with vice-gripped jaw, and eyes tight shut,
I struck with all my puny might.

I remember no pain at all, nor blood,
just a paralysis of my right leg.
I stumbled into the living room,
with the knife deep embedded in my thigh.

“My God! How did you do that? Stupid boy!”
“I tripped on the kitchen rug” I lied
“I was peeling an orange”.

The knife was pulled from my leg.
A large sticking plaster was applied.
No ambulance, no panic, a failure.

I was put to bed.  My leg convulsed,
And pumped a little blood from under the elastoplast.
I barely slept. And in the morning,
Everyone had gone to school and work.
I was alone and in agony.

My upper leg had discoloured from hip to knee,
blood trapped beneath the skin marbled pink and red.
The damaged muscle flexed involuntarily
Sending arrows of pain to my fevered brain
I cried.

When dad came in from his milk round,
He reluctantly took me to the doctor’s surgery.
I remember in the waiting room, a kind lady;
“how did you manage that?”
“I stabbed myself”
She slid further along the seat, away from me.

The Asian doctor took one look and said
“I don’t understand, perhaps a blood vessel is severed,
he must go to hospital immediately. I will phone ahead”

This is all I really remember.
Many days of pain, at home alone,
getting good at telling lies,
to hide my shame.

Oli 02/02/07

Reviews

Written by fellpony (1717 comments posted) 2nd February 2007
Oli 
 
I think you are right: this may not be a poem. Or at least, not yet. Painful, raw, yes, and the reasons for the action as yet unclear (perhaps in a poem they do not have to be clear). Is it non-fiction prose, perhaps? 
 
There's some very deep stuff in the background of this: "getting good at telling lies" - essential for a writer.  
 
You know it needs work, but how brave of you to post it. 
 
 
 
The art of poetry
Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 2nd February 2007
Greetings Talisker, 
 
I will not comment on style, I am in a learning process! 
 
But I loved the contents. If it wasn't autobiographical then you are a MASTER STORY TELLER.If it was you are even better. 
 
I HATE you for being so damned good. Patricia :upset :upset :cry :cry

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 2nd February 2007
You lived to tell the tale Oli, thankfully. I guess you'd have been pretty unlucky to sever an artery. I honestly don't think self destructive urges are that uncommon even at an early age. God knows, they're common enough as we grow older. 
 
Not sure if this is poetry or not (Like I'd know.) but it read well - and if you had to write it, it's out there now. 
 
There is a certain style to this: just reporting the facts until the very end when you reflect and put some of yourself into this. 
 
All the best, 
 
Phil
Essay
Written by bwoz (125 comments posted) 17th February 2007
I think this is more suited to essay format. I think it reads better that way. I wish there was a category for essay in this venue, it would get a lot of postings. 
 
BW

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