At a Press conference this morning Richard Branson announced that he had just taken on Jade Goody to spearhead a new call centre operation for his company in Bombay.
`I was very impressed by what I saw of Ms Goody on Celebrity Big Brother,` said Mr Branson. `Her open-mindedness and grasp of all things Asian was extremely impressive and I`m sure she will get the best out of the new workforce.`
Ms Goody was said to be extremely excited by the prospect of her new job.
`I `preciate Mr Brankston givin` me this charnce ta` show what I can do. I`ve always liked the Pakis `cos I think they work ever so `ard an` it can`t be easy, them all livin` in mud `uts an` only `avin` bits of rice an` that ta` eat.`
Miss Goody went on to say that she wasn`t too sure were Bombay was but her mum had told her to pack a lot of warm clothes and take plenty of tea bags with her..
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Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 |
What a nice picture this has left me with, Woody: Jade Goody standing on a noisy street corner in Bombay with a suitcase full of woollies, thinking to herself 'Well, this is what Pakistan looks like!' And her mother is almost as bright as she is, too -- what a surprise. Much enjoyed.
(One typo: 'were' instead of 'where' in the next to last line.) |
HI woody
Written by jean.day (2279 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 |
| I too enjoyed this very much. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 |
The trouble here is,woody I can see this actually happening. I'm not a fan of virgin or Branson, all his products are crap. I was wondering when someone would "do" Jade Goody here and you have managed to hit two targets at once. Always good to see your humour on the site, don't leave it too long for the next time
cheers
J |
Written by AtticMan ( comments posted) 2nd February 2007 |
| Your Jade Goody impression was absolutely brilliant! |
Take a bow.
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 |
|
Whoops
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 |
Take a bow my son. Nice.
I enjoyed that matey. She'll probably end up converting to Islam to prove she isn't racist after all, and change her name to "Yarafat Fuqa".
Quality stuff Woody. All the best for now Chief.
Chris |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 |
Enjoyed very much. You had her speech down pat - could hear it all in that rather attractive and refined accent she has nurtured.
Top marks to Givitsum too: Yarafat Fuqa.
Phil. |
Written by coosh (865 comments posted) 2nd February 2007 |
| You could do a whole series of Spitting Image-type sketches out of this scenario - although there'd be little difference between the grotesque puppet and the real thing. Sales of her perfume, Whiff of Bigot, would be flying off the shelves in Delhi. Nice stuff, Woody. Cheers. |
Thanks all
Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 3rd February 2007 |
Good morning all...Firstly I would like to make it quite clear that I have NEVER EVER been tempted to watch this load of old rubbish..
Witzl..Many thanks. I`m sure the site of this `young lady` standing on a Bombay street corner would cause an avalanche of emigration requests.
Jean. Thankyou, and I hope your book sales are rocketing you into the super tax bracket!
Jane. Thanks as always for your time. Hope your experiences with Mr Branson have not left you too traumatised..
Attic Man. A new name to me on the site, so welcome and thanks for your comments.
Chris. Sounds like you are in a limbo at the moment my friend, so I hope you soon find a resting place again..
Like the Yarafat Fuqa..
Phil. Attractive and refined...These were the words I was grasping for when trying to describe her....Many thanks.
David. Thanks. Sad really isn`t it that so much media time has been devoted to this complete nonentity. |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 3rd February 2007 |
| LOL! This is brilliant. I couldn't receive the channel were it was broadcasted, but I followed the riot in the media closely. Still no clue what this Goody-woman is like, but considering the fragments I have seen and your piece here I supose that it was dumb ignorance rather than racism indeed! |
destroy Goody
Written by pasinger (13 comments posted) 3rd February 2007 |
The media built her up and now they bring her down.
You obviously have reflected the present public view of her at the moment. A hanging mob!
I agree that it is a pity that so much ink has been dedicated to this ignorant person. It's a pity that they did nothing to help her better herself.
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Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 3rd February 2007 |
I think it is again sad but true, the media, particularly the tabloid press, are not in the least bit interested in `bettering` people. They just want to manipulate people like Jade Goody in order to boost their circulation figures, and the TV companies likewise.In my opinion reality TV programmes like `Big Brother` only fuel peoples baser instincts`and it saddens me that it appears to be so popular. I think the Heads of these television companies, in their headlong rush for ratings, have sold us all down the line and they need to take a long, hard look at themselves. Thank goodness there are still channels available which do not treat their audience with utter contempt.
Thanks for your time and comments pasinger.
happy writing
Woody |
Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 7th February 2007 |
I would never dream of watching that rubbish.
But, one of the servants(I wish I had) insists on keeping up to date with such rubbish.
YOU were more than good. This piece is very funny. maryb |
Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 7th February 2007 |
You are too kind Maryb. I`m afraid we had to sack our servant when we caught him laughing at Ant and Dec...
happy writing
Woody |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 7th February 2007 |
Thought I'd commented on this but clearly I haven't - bugger it, I'm going senile already.
Enjoyed it - though as with Jane I could unfortunately see this in the real news...She's an annoyingly stupid cow - all the more annoying as she's famous for being thick.
Good stuff
Elli |
Second comment !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 8th February 2007 |
Deer ele
Im tik to. kan i bkum a cilibratie
hu du i apli 2.
im tikr denn gude. |
Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 14th February 2007 |
Thanks Elli. Don`t think there is much else to say about the poor girl is there...
Woody |
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