Quicklinks:
Short S. | Poetry | Not News | Scripts | Comedy | Non-Fiction | SF | Crime | For Kids | Extended | Village
Great Writing - Home > Poetry > This Years' Poem
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1802 guests online and 10 members online
Poetry
print friendly version     
This Years' Poem
By francoise
02 February 2007
havent been able to finish this one, but wondering whether i should keep going!... initial thoughts most welcome :-)

 
I like the poem we are in right now,
The way our sentences hold each other.
And the sounds we make
When our love resonates
To the pitch of a readers pleasure.
We found each other in the pages of
An anthology; an archaic city.
Every poem  was a forgotten home
And each stanza a room filled with pity.
If the pages were turned the sun would shine
So our words would merge in rhythm,
To dance together to the syllabic measure
Of Popa and Heaney and Whitman.

Reviews

Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 2nd February 2007
It's sweet and I like the self-reference. A funny idea.

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 2nd February 2007
I like a lot of things here -- especially 'when our love resonates / to the pitch of a reader's pleasure' -- but I am not sure about 'a room filled with pity.'  
 
I do think you should keep going on this; it is a nice idea.

Written by Phil (6387 comments posted) 2nd February 2007
I too think this is worth continuing, but I didn't like the love resonating to readers pleasure. Didn't really do it for me at all. Tied myself up in knots thinking about why and still couldn't tell you. 
 
Still, give it a whirl, there's lots going on here. 
 
Phil.
it's done
Written by storyteller (7 comments posted) 5th February 2007
Francoise, I am astonished. 
 
When you say I like the poem "we" are right now, it sounds as if it will be undone as long as "this love" lasts. As "our" words merge and dance toghether, it will never be finished, until pages will be turned, so the sun can finally shine..  
 
Brilliant! 
 
That's why I think it's done already, besides it's undone nature. 
 
:)

Written by francoise (129 comments posted) 9th February 2007
thanks for the votes to keep going with this one. I have a problem though.. this poem drove me crazy! I don't really know why but I still find it quite frustrating to use rhyme and metre without jeapordising meaning.. havent yet found the correct balance.. 
 
anyway one must persevere i suppose 
 
thanks again 
 
fran

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!
 Previous item   Next item
This site is copyright 2005 - 2007 Great Writing. Work submitted by members remains the copyright of the respective authors.
See our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.