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Poetry
Defending Paradise
Written by fellpony
02 February 2007
Ah the sonnet, the sonnet ... sort of a follow-on to "Young Deer".

I know - it's a bit ironic to be talking about keeping secrets, by writing on an Internet group.

Guard the deep silence of tranquillity,
The central stillness of the praising soul.
Speak of no secret. Let the absolute
Exist. By no word can vision be controlled.

Paradise is hereafter. If the gift
Of momentary foretaste should be given
Today, delight in private and alone.
Hold in cupped hands the promises of heaven.

Admit no raiders to that breathing space,
No danger to a tender hope uncurled;
Shield the great moments with a public face
Or hide them altogether from the world.

Never show swine these pearls. At any price
Defend the secret wells of Paradise.

Reviews

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 2nd February 2007
In a world where many people seem to go about braying their private business to all and sundry -- a world where a show like 'Big Brother' is seen as high entertainment -- this is a good reminder.  
 
Plenty of fine imagery here. I read it several times before I realized that it didn't rhyme; the rhythm made me think that it did.  
 
Really lovely -- I am running out of good things to write about your poetry.
half-rhyme
Written by fellpony (1616 comments posted) 3rd February 2007
soul/controlled, given/heaven, world/wild. 
 
complete rhymes in the last line though. 
 

Written by Fledermaus (3306 comments posted) 3rd February 2007
Sweet. Not much to add to what has already been said, except that it's nice to see poetry in an old-fashioned form.

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 3rd February 2007
Yes, liked a lot. For me, not just about inner personal space and emotion, but also those special times and places we all have and need to protect.  
 
Phil.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 7th February 2007
There is some lovely imagery in this but it just didn't do it for me. Not sure why that is. I think perhaps it is because it is very abstract; a little more of the specific would have tied it down more for me - made it easier to make the emotional connection that stays with you. Not sure that that makes a lot of sense... 
 
Another thing that just occured to me is there is a fair amount of (I hesitate to say repetition) but certainly overlap in the ideas you're propounding. 
 
Elli

Written by andybyers (171 comments posted) 29th September 2007
Oh, this is uplifting! This one really speaks to me. I wish there were some way to bookmark our favourite pieces here; I'd definitely like to be back to click and come back to this one. The line "Admit no raiders to that breathing space" thrilled me... nearly gave me goosebumps. Something about it is just so right. Bravo. :)

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