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Poetry
India's Fragrance
By epifanioben
03 February 2007
Orange and green garments:

                                          Elephants
                                                       Buddah
                                          Ghandi
                                                   The Kuma Sutra
             Sacred markings on foreheads,
                                                   above almond shape eyes.
                                     Dry spices
                Chicken slices
                                     and white rice


A meal that makes foreign tongues surrender.


This and more, as the incense burns,
as the sandal wood fragrance parts from the rising smoke trail and,
like spirits, surrounds the room.


Suddenly, the way hands discover slithering cobras in rice fields,
the wispy fabric and carpet-tumbleweeds underneath my palms, 
reel me back
“here”

‘”To scattered bills on the kitchen table,”
“to an empty fridge”
“to noisy neighbors”
“to her last words,”


I love you, but I ain’t waiting forever?


Those threatening syllables.

I’m leaving if you can’t decide


The box read: en-joy and relax.


Next time, I’ll go with the longer incense.

Reviews

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 3rd February 2007
I myself have never been to India, but I have been corresponding with an Indian friend who has moved back there after almost two decades in Japan. And she would be the first to tell you that when you describe the fragrance of India, you are leaving a few big things out -- that it ain't all spices, sandalwood and incense.  
 
Your poem strikes me as a little too cryptically personal. Of course, all poetry is personal, but it ought to be largely accessible to the reader. This isn't. Other reviewers may have a different opinion, but if I were you, I would work in a more earthy, less travel-brochure description of India. And I would make this more reader-friendly. 
 
Hope this helps.

Written by Fledermaus (3489 comments posted) 3rd February 2007
I think that exactly those stereotypical things worked well. That's how India's scent is presented when it's sold in a box... Mysterious, exotic, with a magical touch and some strange romantic idea of Buddhism and Hinduism. 
If they would talk about crammed streets, starving beggars, air polution and so on, no-one would buy it (I have never been to India either, but from what I see on TV I can imagine some different smells). 
 
Indeed it could have been presented in a more readable way, but where the spices, sandalwood and incense are concerned I think it's a very nice picture of a fictional India.

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 3rd February 2007
Idealised or not, I'm not sure it matters. The contrast between the first and second half is strong, but the connection between them is not. It left this reader a little lost. Sure, there needs to be some work in the reading, but a little more clarity than this would be helpful. 
 
Phil.

Written by amoryblaine (40 comments posted) 20th February 2007
very nice!uv captured the Indian imagery well and as for the "other smells"that some talk of..ull find shit almost anywhere if u make up ur mind to look for it!pardon the pun.Shanti!shanti!shanti!..Real India this.. 

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