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DNA Result in Scampi Love Tug Battle |
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By Talisker
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04 February 2007 |
High Court attorneys acting on behalf of Mr. Sooty Bear in the infamous love tug case Bear versus Panda, were tonight celebrating “a notable success”.
The court today heard that the DNA tests carried out on juvenile Scampi Panda have proved that he is indeed the love child of Fathers For Justice activist Mr. Sooty Bear.
Interviewed leaving court, Mr. Bear was close to tears as he explained what the news meant to him;
“I knew he was mine, you just have to look at him. Now we can get on with the real issues of custody, access, and how much of my fortune I’ll have to pay to support him. However much it is, it will be worth it”
Scampi, who has hitherto been raised by single mother Soo Panda, has been made a ward of court until a definitive decision on custody is reached.
In a local hostelry, Scampi’s Uncle, Sweep Spaniel was toasting the result of the DNA test:
“If you can’t have a few Dom Poms to celebrate this, then I’m a Dutchman!” slobbered Mr.Spaniel.
The man who had claimed to be Ms. Panda’s lover and Scampi’s real father, Mr. Matthew Corbett, was unavailable for comment.
Source: News International
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Written by Phil (6738 comments posted) 4th February 2007 | Its tempting to say that Mr Corbett never had sex with Soo, just molested her nether regions every now and again - but that would be crass. I'm sure he'd make a good fist of defending himself.
So sorry, couldn't resist.
Enjoyed this. Has the good Doctor Reid got a respite for a day or two - or just until he opens his mouth again?
Phil. | considering ...
Written by fellpony (1618 comments posted) 4th February 2007 | ... Sooty Bear's age, he's obviously very "fit".
Another funny bit of nonsense Oli. No need to worry about writing "mince" in the poetry dept for a while, so long as the brain is able to churn these out as well and keep the little grey cells in practice.
| Laugh i nearly *#@#
Written by stevetroster (1555 comments posted) 11th March 2007 | | The thought of a highbrow sweep tippling on Dom Poms made me laugh - so I read it again and it still made me laugh. If I fancy a good laugh tomorrow I may very well come back and read it again! |
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