Chapter 37

As daylight dawned, and the sun streamed through the curtains, Donna turned over in the bed and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.  She realised that the space next to her was empty.  She smiled to herself as she recalled the events of the night before - God, how could she have ever contemplated life without him?  How could she ever have contemplated life without ever seeing that smile, hearing that voice, and feeling those strong, loving arms pulling her close, and then having him kiss her until she felt her very soul was aflame?  It was simple - she couldn't.   She sighed happily, and turned over, drifting back to sleep.  She suddenly felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, and a featherlight kiss on her cheek, and she turned over to see the face she loved most in all the world - it had been so long since she had seen him smile, and it warmed her heart to see him so happy again.  Whenever he was in pain, she felt it too - and when he was happy, she felt his joy, too, in equal measure.

"Morning, gorgeous!" she said, putting her arms around his neck, and kissing him until he had to come up for air.  "And what a beautiful morning it is, too!"

"Are you going to lie in that bed all day?" he retorted, his eyes twinkling.  She could not help laughing at the expression on his face.

"Only if you're in it as well!" she said, running her fingers through his hair.  "Otherwise there's no point!"

"Donna, are you going to get out of that bed, or do I have to come and get you?"

"You have to come and get me!"

She screamed with laughter as he threw back the bedclothes, and lifted her out of the bed, putting her over his shoulder.  Ignoring her protests, he carried her out of the bedroom, and down the stairs.

"Put me down, right this minute!"

"And if I don't?"

"I'll bite your bum, then I'll tickle you to death!"

Eventually, he had to put her down, because he was laughing so much.  She silenced him with a long lingering kiss, then just stood there, gazing into his eyes.  He knew what she was thinking, but he wanted to hear it, anyway.

"I'm so glad we came here, Jon!" she said, trailing her hand down his cheek.  "It felt like we were on our honeymoon again!  I felt like I was falling in love with you all over again - I suppose I've never really stopped!  I'm so sorry I caused you so much pain, can you forgive me for....."

"There's nothing to forgive!" he said, putting his finger on her lips to silence her.  "You were in pain, too - the kind of pain I couldn't possibly understand, no matter how I tried!  All I knew was I wanted to cure it, but I wasn't sure how!  I would have done anything, Donna - whatever it took, to see you smile again.  I would have given you the sun, moon and stars if you'd asked me to - I just wanted my Donna back again!"

She looked up at him, surprised at the tremor in his voice, and saw tears standing in his eyes.  She suddenly realised just how he had been feeling - so helpless, powerless to do anything, except wait for her to realise how much she still loved him.

"You didn't have to give me anything, Jon!" she said, her voice almost a whisper.  "As long as I have you, I've got everything I need!  I do love you, you know!  I love you so much!  I just want to feel your arms around me - I've missed that so much!"

He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder. Suddenly, his feelings became too much, and he began to cry softly.  She did not say a word at first, but just held him fast, then she began to whisper soft and low - words of love and heartfelt promises that he knew would never be broken. Neither of them would never forget these precious hours they had spent alone together - trying to rediscover their love for each other.  During her moments of seemingly never-ending pain, Donna had buried it so deep, but it had always been there - all it had needed was her husband's gentle touch to re-awaken it.

A couple of weeks after they arrived home, it was Emily's birthday.  Despite her disability, she had insisted on holding it at Kids World - she  loved the slides, and playing in the ball pond, with her daddy holding on to her, making sure she felt secure.  Apart from family, she had invited a few special friends from school to share her day with her - including Laura.  Even though her mummy had made Emily's family's life a living hell, she was not going to take it out on her - none of it was her fault.  Emily had told her, that she was her friend, no matter what her mummy had done.

As they sat there together on the sofa, Emily suddenly sighed, and leaned her head on Jon's shoulder.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" he said, gently stroking her hair.

"Tell me the truth, daddy!" she said, tears in her eyes.  "Does mummy really love you again, or are you just pretending?"

"No, we're not pretending!"  He felt tears stinging his eyes at the expression on her face.  "We really do love each other - very much!  I'm sure mummy will agree with me!"

"Yes, she does!" said Donna, reaching over Emily's head, and kissing him long and tenderly.

Suddenly, Rosie piped up, having watched the proceedings with great interest.

"Oh, get a room!" she said, an expression of complete and utter disdain on her face.

"I wish I could think of an answer to that!" said Donna, as they both sat there helpless with laughter.  "but I really can't!"

"Daddy!" said Emily, changing the subject.  "You know you asked me what I wanted for my birthday?  Well, there's only one thing I'd really like, but you won't be able to get it for me!"

"Why not?" he said, looking questioningly at her.  "What do you want?"

"New legs" she said, looking down.  "so I can walk and run, and play properly with Rosie and Clare - and with David when he's big enough!  Still, I know I can't, but I would like a red dress like mummy's- so I can look beautiful, just like her!  Do you think she's beautiful, daddy?"

"Yes, I do!  She's the most beautiful woman in the whole world - in fact, the four most beautiful ladies in the world are sitting here right in front of me!"

"Do you mean me?  Do you think I'm beautiful, daddy?" said Emily, looking up at him, her eyes searching his.

"Of course you are!  How could you doubt it?  I wish I could get you some new legs, Emily - more than anything in the world!  I can get you a red dress, though, if that's what you'd really like!  I don't think you'll be able to wear it when we go to Kids World, so we'll have a special party at home, just for you, so you can wear it then!  We'll make you a special cake, and anything else you want to to eat!  We'll invite nanny and granddad, Auntie Joanne and Uncle Danny...."

"And Auntie Eileen....." interrupted Emily, putting her arms around his neck.  "We can't leave Auntie Eileen out - can I call her that, daddy? Would she mind?"

"Of course she wouldn't!  And you're right, we can't leave her out - she's done so much for us!  I don't know what we'd have done without her - she's been a true friend, someone who knows the real meaning of the word!"

As they all sat there together, tired but happy, Emily sat there, looking radiant in her new red dress - just like mummy's.  She looked up at Jon, her eyes bright with love, and said, her voice so quiet he could hardly hear her:

"Can you sing a birthday song for me, daddy?  I don't mind what it is - I just want you to sing a special song for me!"

He thought for a moment, then began to sing, that voice they all loved so well, filling the room - warming their hearts and moving them to tears.

"You‘re my world, you‘re every breath I take
You‘re my world, you're every move I make
Other eyes see the stars up in the skies
But for me they shine within your eyes

As the trees reach for the sun above
So my arms reach out to you for love
With your hand resting in mine
I feel a power so divine

You‘re my world, you are my night and day
You‘re my world, you‘re every prayer I pray
If our love ceases to be
Then it‘s the end of my world for me

With your hand resting in mine
I feel a power so divine

You're my world, you are my night and day
You're my world, you're every prayer I pray
If our love ceases to be
Then it's the end of my world
End of my world
End of my world for me"

As the final notes faded away, there was silence for just a few seconds, as they all sat there, quite incapable of speech.  He was shocked when Eileen suddenly began to cry, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. He got up and went over to her, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"What's wrong, Eileen?" he said, looking most concerned. "Please!  Tell me - what is it?"

"I'm sorry, love!" she said, trying to regain her composure  "you caught me completely off guard - they played that song on our wedding night!  It was our first dance, and we were so much in love!  Hearing you sing it brings back so many beautiful memories -  I love your voice so much!  I've heard many God given voices in my time, but none quite like yours!"

Quite unable to speak, he just held her close, looking over her shoulder at Donna - his eyes telling her that those words said everything he was feeling inside.  Sometimes, when he found it hard to put his thoughts into the spoken word, the power of song never failed to get the message across.  As he looked at Donna, he thought she looked a little distant, but came to the conclusion that maybe she was tired - after all looking after four children was VERY tiring!  When everyone had gone home, and the children were in bed, they sat there together on the sofa - not speaking, just enjoying one another's company.  He gently kissed the top of her head.

"I love you, Donna" he said, putting his arm around her shoulder.

"I love you, too, Jon" she replied, her hand reaching up, and finding his.

He leaned his head against the back of the sofa, and before long he was asleep.  She glanced up at him, thinking to herself how peaceful he looked. 

Sighing, she lay her head on his shoulder, and waited for him to wake up - she had something to tell him.