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By bwoz
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05 February 2007 |
Homebound can mean traveling toward home, or it can mean unable to leave the home. This one goes both ways.
Her words move like Spanish moss
on the breath of a slow, gray journey.
Her hair is thin wisps of weeds
that tap against a nailed-shut window.
We can still see in,
but the sash of her memory
is a frail and craggy frame
and cobwebbed.
Still, her eyes are as clear as a new day
And she can see all the way back
To new fields where kites flew
No cobwebs out there.
She smiles and lets out more twine.
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Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 5th February 2007 | Greetings again,
I feel this poem is about an old lady. It is strange but beautiful. It is as you said, age makes her body housebound but not her mind. SHE is free is she not.
In you allowing her to let out more twine you are granting even more freedom to her spirit.
I loved the line "No cobwebs out there"
I read it as meaning, She may be old but has not allowed her spirit to rust. I hope I interpret your poem as you intended. Well done.
I write a lot about old people, espc, Alzheimers.
marybarry |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 5th February 2007 | The last two lines of this are particularly effective. It is moving to think of an old woman not only recalling her lost girlhood, but reliving it -- letting out more twine as she flies her kites across the fields. Physically stuck at home, but homeward bound all the same.
Beautiful poem. |
Written by Talisker (1321 comments posted) 5th February 2007 | I like this poem a lot, but I have reservations.
The first stanza; how does tree moss move? I can't visualise that. Some of the other imagery does not work for me either - the "sash" memory - I think of the "sash" element as the wooden frame, not the actual glass - therefore the analogy fails (for me).
Having said all that, I still like the poem for its simple message and gentleness.
Oli
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Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 5th February 2007 | I really liked :
Her hair is thin wisps of weeds
that tap against a nailed-shut window.
Very visual and suggestive. An old woman with freedom? I wouldn't go that far. A mind, partly free, partly trapped.
She smiles and lets out more twine - lovely.
Phil. |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 5th February 2007 | There's some beautiful imagery in this piece. I liked the first half better than the second although I thought that you moved slightly away from the house metaphor at exactly the right point before it became overstretched. Liked this very much.
Elli | Thank you all
Written by bwoz (125 comments posted) 5th February 2007 | I get many different reactions to this poem. The title suggests the old woman is on her way home, the last journey. Mary mentioned Alzheimers -- which is a good description of what I tried to capture. I have sat with a few old people who are not all there, sometimes their minds get razor sharp and they recall something in very exact detail, that happened 50 or 60 years before. Then they often just smile at the recognition -- smile at themselves as they were back then, and their minds drift off again.
Really the poem is about the last days for this old woman. I tried to instill enough of nature, and of an old building, along with the old woman as a person to signify that in the end, all is one.
Oli, the moss image is of spanish moss draped across live oak branches, they can be found throughout the southeast US -- the moss moves, sways, and the old timers say on a still day when you see the moss move someone has turned over in their grave.
The part about the sash, I stated that "the sash of her memory is a frail and craggy frame".. so you are correct, it is the frame part of a window. The "window" image is in reference to her eyes -- there is some recognition looking in, but the viewer is not sure exactly what she sees looking out.
Thanks all for reading and comments. glad it prompted serious comments.
BW | Another note
Written by bwoz (125 comments posted) 6th February 2007 | Oli was correct, unless the reader has spent time in southeatern US s/he might not know that "tree moss" is a common reference to Spanish moss, which hangs in long beards from live oak trees. If the imagery still is dull I apologize. Maybe Google "Spanish moss" and click on "images" that will bring up tons of photos of "tree moss".
anyway, I changed the first couplett a little to clarify spanish moss.
thanks
BW |
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