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Poetry


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A MINUTE IN THE GARDEN

By CliffBowes

05 February 2007

I am very fond of wtriting to the strict discipline of a minute, villanelle or sestina. this minute was written last April.

Catkins of hazel bloom and hang,
Wren shrilly sang
farewell to March,
and brassy arch
of forsythia scythes the air.
Come April fair.
Blossom of fruits,
suckled by roots.
The sap rising now in heat haze.
Promising days
of long sunshine.
All this is mine.

Reviews

Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 5th February 2007

Very nice, I like this kind of poetry - capturing nature is a great thing.

Just a few nits;

Hang/sang - tense? hang = present, sang = past - perhaps tense sacrificed for rhyme?

I can see it was deliberate, but "Forsythia scythes" grates a bit for me.

"Blossom of fruits" - eventually blossom leads to fruits, but this doesn't make sene to me really.

Having said the above, I did enjoy the poem - very pleasant and appropriate for this time of year.

Oli

Spring come she will
Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 5th February 2007

Dear Cliff,
I do not have Talisker's knowledge of the art of poetry. But I liked this poem very much.
patricia

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 5th February 2007

Apart from the previously mentioned niggles which i mostly agree with I enjoyed this very much. It's bloody difficult to write in these proscriptive forms and I thought you pulled it off well. For me - a nice clean simple piece which i enjoyed.

Elli

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