Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Lambing: xi (final)
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1652 guests online and 5 members online
Poetry
Lambing: xi (final)
Written by fellpony
06 February 2007
more in the farm sequence - fits between "Six Days before Christmas" and "Young Deer".


The housewives will be polishing their paint,
or washing a front path still wet with rain;
weeding bare beds where daffodils stand
singly, each a sterile foot apart. Long
since, they have forgotten the wild world
of violence and birth, and have sunk back
into a pretty street of painted boxes.

The heavy sheep wait patiently for food
together, but soon they will choose privacy,
lying down in corners, pawing, circling,
in the intense, ritualistic,
bloody effort of lambing.

In the dry weather it’s a hopeful job.
Sun on the back, working coatless, you can
outwit a hesitant ewe; kneeling, sort
and assist to birth her jumbled twins;
carry the newborn to a nursery field
with their dam trotting anxiously behind.

Spring storms are miserable. At dawn,
draped in a coat still clammy-damp with rain,
you stumble out in muddy wellingtons.
The sheep are sheltered half a mile away
down the steep bank, below the boundary wall.
Only a shepherd would go out to count them,
seeking to pair-up ewes and rain-chilled lambs
under the lashing of a force nine gale.

Here a lamb is flattened to the grass, dead,
the ewe returning constantly, to sniff
and lick his sodden coat. Captured by guile,
and coaxed indoors, she’ll stand imprisoned till
a strange lamb can be fostered in his place,
and even then, she may stand many days
before she thinks him hers, and can be freed.

Then when a day dawns fine, and all the flock
lies quiet in the sun, maybe you’ll go
into the village to stock up with food.
You pass the pretty boxes, paintwork flat
blue or strident red, and there they are, all
the busy housewives, polishing their brasses,
dusting the pointless nick-nacks on the shelves;
They wipe off raindrops which the sun betrays,
then, hanging fresh net curtains at the glass,
dare life to spot the tidiness within.

Reviews

Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 6th February 2007
Wonderful! I love these farm poems of yours - life reaffirming and earthy. 
 
All life is here. 
 
Oli 
:)

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3569 comments posted) 6th February 2007
I enjoyed this but actually found the poetic structure a bit distracting. I think this would work better in longer narrative form in the non-fiction. There's a great story there. But then I do struggle with poetry. 
cheers 
J
Right BBS
Written by fellpony (1723 comments posted) 6th February 2007
... however, I've done lambing before as a subject in prose form (not on here), and I'm working on a sequence of poems right now, so wanted to see how this fitted in.  
 

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 6th February 2007
I loved the first and last verses. I have this thing about poems that have resonance. Always a personal thing, I know. What works for me, possibly won't for others. Anyway, the first and last had resonance. I had to go back and read them straight away. 
 
There is a big contrast between these verses and what comes between. I can see where BBS is coming from. The middle part does have a prose feel to it. Not a crit - just an observation. However, the first and last (which were excellent and in no way could be described as prose) would not have worked without the middle verses. 
 
A ramble I'll end here. 
 
Phil.

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 6th February 2007
Question: probably stupid, but here goes. 
 
Are you showing us two series of poems here? 
 
One that begins with Heraldic and another related (at least on the upper most level) to farming? 
 
Or: 
 
Are they all related? 
 
Couldn't quite make my mind up. They could be treated separately, but there are also links. 
 
Phil.
related.
Written by fellpony (1723 comments posted) 7th February 2007
The opening sequence (from Heraldic) moves into the farming sequence then back out of it - there's a very short, but very dark sequence imminent which will try to explain that movement.  
 
But there is a happy ending - at least, I think so. 
 

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item