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Poetry
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Fly Alone
By pandora
08 February 2007
Fly Alone


Exasperated with always explaining myself
I can not belie all your fears and insecurities
I have tried over and over again, but I am tired now.

Every word is about you, every pain,
every tear I shed is because of you,
all fears are yours realized.

These are YOUR truths...
I can not coddle you every time
you see something
and automatically think
it is yours to own.
It is about me and my feelings
It is about me and my problems
It is about me and MY insecurities

You can not cure my ailments,
I am the only one who can do that.
The choice is mine and always has been.

Your attention is sweet but overdone
you need to find your own niche in life
make it your own
then and only then
love will bestow its eyes on you.

Broken life's need to be fixed,
dealt with,
not just mine but yours.
Please stop haunting me with your words of guilt
I have never done that to you, what makes  you
think you have the right to do it to me?

You always wonder if my words are to you,
well you do not have to wonder about these words...
They are all for you.


Copyright © 2007 Sheri Altman. All Rights Reserved.

Reviews

Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 8th February 2007
It was an angry poem. Emotion well expressed. 
 
I have read it a few times and will read it again before I 
 
try a real review. maryb
ANGST
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 8th February 2007
Hi pandora, do you do anything other than bitter angst? 
 
I can't read this without grimacing horribly. I find my teeth gritting involuntarily, and my blood pressure rising to dangerous levels. 
 
I suppose it may be a "have to get it out or I'll murder someone" thing, if so, please keep them coming. 
 
Oli :)

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3445 comments posted) 8th February 2007
The trouble with stuff like this is I feel like I'm reading someone else's mail. It's so personal I feel I shouldn't be reading it.  
I did like 
"Your attention is sweet but overdone" though 
cheers 
J

Written by jsyingling (31 comments posted) 8th February 2007
Some cool lines. I'd lay back on the capital YOUR and MY. Put your emphasis on words through rhythm and punctuation, but thats just a style thing. I also think it gets a little too prose-like at points. Just keep an eye on that and I think that this emotion can play out real well with a few successful images.

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 8th February 2007
Struggled to connect - possibly because of its personal nature. A bit to inward looking and not considerate enough of your audience, maybe? 
 
Phil.
Get a Life
Written by pandora (15 comments posted) 8th February 2007
This is the only website where people are just flat out rude. 
 
You know who you are. 
 
Why comment? Don't you have anything better to do?

Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 9th February 2007
I've been reading these reviews, and can not see where anyone was rude. I thought that Marybarry in particular, was very kind, and if people criticise, it's no reflection on you. It's each to their own - not everyone likes what I write, but I'm grateful to those who do. 
 
If you don't want people to comment, why post? You have to accept concrit along with praise - it's all part of the learning curve. I don't like downright rude reviews, either, but as far as I can see, none of these were anything of the kind. 
 
As for being flat out rude - read your last comment. Any more like that, and you'll find that people will have plenty better to do. 
 
Personally, I quite liked your poem. A lot of angst, as Oli says, but well expressed. I can identify with it. :)
Hangon
Written by Tusk (53 comments posted) 5th March 2007
I know I'm new here...BUT 
"do you write anything but bitter angst" doesn't help does it? 
 
As for the poem, it does have strong emotion. I liked "I have never done that to you". But I have to agree that it was a bit too personal to appreciate.

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