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Poetry
The Lions Eat Tonight
By pasinger
08 February 2007
Lions hunt in two ways, out onthe plains the lioness will stalk the prey silently but if they are hungry and a meal is in an enclosure the lioness, actually there is usually more than one, will put their mouths to the ground and roar. The cattle become confused and panic.
This poem is based on my husbands observations in the bush in Botswana. He worked for a prospecting company and lived in the bush for 18months.
A kraal is an enclosure for the cattle made of branches interwined to form a circle.

The Lions Eat Tonight

The lioness stalks the prey,
Her King lies under a tree.
She lies and waits without a sound
one bound she's home and free.

She brings her prize to her King
lays it at his paws,
he eats first and has his fill,
prey in his powerful jaws.

They will not always work so hard
to have fayre on their table,
As man invades their back yard
he does the lion a favour.

The cattle are in the kraal,
a circle of sticks secure
the lion comes up puts his mouth to the ground
and lets out a mighty roar.

All the cattle scatter, the sound is all around,
Panic, fear and terror, they tremble then they storm.
The lion lies in waiting, making not a sound,
cattle pass, lions pounce, out the throat is torn.

Reviews
Yes...
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 8th February 2007
More interesting from a natural history perspective than for the beauty, eloquence or lyrical quality of the verse.  
 
This poem is stuttery, clumsy, rather childish in its execution. I feel that it may have been rushed, or perhaps the writer would be better sticking to prose. 
 
Sorry for any offence, 
 
Oli :)

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 8th February 2007
I was quite gripped by this. I thought it an unusual subject for a poem but it worked well. I thought the structure and rhyming was fine and added to the drama. My problem was with the last two lines the rhyming, there, was a bit contrived and forced but then I'm not a poet. I did like the drama of the piece which is why I stopped to comment. 
cheers 
J

Written by jsyingling (31 comments posted) 8th February 2007
I really enjoyed the rhymes... especially since they were all a little forced which stopped the reader from getting sing-songy. (secure and roar, ground and kraal). Like bottleblonde, I feel the last stanza is disconnected. Kind of a neat image, with the man invading providing the lions a favour. Not something that one normally thinks of with the loss of habitat and whatnot. 
 
Title is clever adaptation from lion sleeps tonight. Because of that allusion, I think its doubly important this poem is not all song and dance.

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 8th February 2007
Some of your constructions and rhymes are pretty forced and this does detract from the quality of the poem. Also, the very bouncy rhythm doesn't really suit the slow, deliberate set up of the animals in the kraal. The last verse was particularly awkward. 
 
Having said all that, this was a really interesting piece. As Oli suggested - perhaps better off as a prose piece? 
 
Phil.

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