Having realised I will have been a member here for 1 year in 1 week, I decided to chuck up one of me old favourites stories. I think its been up before, but I spring clean old ones out now and again, so I'm not sure.

Young Timmy Sloane was such a loveable little cherub. After returning home from school, he completed his homework, before sitting down with his mum for dinner. Mrs. Sloane was a single parent, having been dumped some months previous by her husband, who had buggered off with his wifes hairdresser of all people. Mind you, it was hard to blame him; she was a stunner, with nice firm bristols, slender waist, and an arse like a 10 year old boy. Unlike his wife, who resembled something the bomb squad had just raided.

Mrs. Sloane had painstakingly cooked a lovely, wholesome dinner for her son, with deep fried chicken nuggets, deep fried potato things shaped like characters from Thomas The Tank Engine, and a dollop of baked beans. She lit herself a tab and sat down to fill in the pools coupon over a bottle of stout whilst Timmy ate his hearty meal.

"What have you been doing at school today then Timmy?" asked his mum, fag end dangling out of the corner of her mouth.

"We did crafts mum. Woodwork and metal work. I like that" Timmy replied.

"Oooh. That's interesting. Did you make something nice petal?"

"In woodwork I was just learning to drill, then putting screws in. I like screwing mummy. Especially when I've got wood."

Timmy's mum tried not to choke as she swallowed a mouthfull of smoke, tickled by her little cherub's statement. How she loved those innocent little things her beloved son often said.

"Ahem.. and what about in metal work son?"

"I was fastening bolts mummy, big ones, with a huge spanner. I love it when me nuts tighten when I've giving them a good wrench."

Mrs. Sloane was struggling not to laugh out loud as Timmy tucked into his grub. How she wished she could afford a video camera to capture these golden moments of young Timmy's adolescent innocence. It might also come in useful for filming herself 'at it' with one of her numerous boyfriends, she mused.

"Then this afternoon was nature. We were learning about different types of wild birds mummy." Timmy continued. He took a bite out of either Annie or Clarabel. He wasn't sure which was which, as the breadcrumbs obscured their unique features somewhat.

"I like birds too son. But not big ones, like birds of prey. I like the small, chirpy ones. Like sparrows and tits." his mum said with one eye on the pools coupon. Only after she said it, did she realise she had inadvertantly left the door open for yet another unintentional sexual innuendo from young Timmy.

"Are all tits small mummy? Or do you get some big tits aswell?"

"Er.... come on, your chicken nuggets are going cold my sweet. Eat up eh?"

"I learnt something about farm yard birds as well mummy. I learnt that hen's 'cackle' and turkeys gobble. I'm a very good cackler mum. (imitates a hen cackling)Are you any good at gobbling?"

"Right that's enough now. Finish your dinner and you can watch cartoons for a bit before bedtime eh?" His mum smiled inwardly. How blissfull it must be, to be so naive and pure.

"Can we watch Eastenders instead of cartoons mum, once I've eaten all my food?" Timmy requested of his doting mum. "I want to see if Phil Mitchell gets to shag that tart from the pub".