Vegetarians worldwide are planning to convert to carnivorism in a worrying new trend. Sting, one of the more high profile converts, was quoted as saying,

'Yeah man, I'm like a hard core carnivore now. It's like great for the stamina, you know? I can sit for hours now with my legs wrapped round my head.'

Reporters asked Sting why he had chosen to convert now,

'Yeh man, it's like so much easier to get ethnically raised meat nowadays. You know, back in the eighties and nineties I had to eat like Muslim and Afro-Caribbean meat and it like gave me indigestion man. Now I can like hop down my local farmers market and pick up meat that has been raised under strictly relaxed conditions and indoctrinated into having slight Hindu leanings. It's like, a relaxed cow makes for a better steak, makes the muscle less tense you know. And that touch of Hindu in bangers and mash, it's like divine man.'

Gordon Ramsay was approached for comment but journalists were unable to get close enough to his cage to record all of his comments although he has been quoted in the national press as saying,

'F**king  Sting wouldn't f**king know a f**king decent f**king steak if it f**king hit him in  the f**king mouth.'

The rest of the interview was unfortunately unintelligible although the  phrase 'Jamie f**king Oliver' was heard several times - cryptologists believe it may hold the clue to translating Ramsay speak.

The Archbishop of Canterbury is reportedly deeply concerned by this new trend,

'Ahem, I find it deeply er worrying that er people can er find themselves so to speak er influenced by this er belief that animals can er have an er ethnicity of their own. It may er further deepen the er rifts in our er society. No wait - we're in favour of that aren't we? D'you think the buggers will fight eachother if we give em half a chance? Well in that case I think it's a f**king fantastic idea. No I don't think I'm contradicting myself and you can stick your organic f**king chicken up your arse you fat good for nothing chav.'

The International Vegetarian's Union was unuavailable for comment although their spokesperson did reiterate the fact that they, 'Have no guarantee that any of our members were, are or ever will be vegetarian' before running off in search of the closest kebab shop.