Notions of a Distant Spring - Great Writing Creative Writing Community

Quicklinks:

Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Notions of a Distant Spring

READING ROOM

Great Writing - Home

Read and review others' work

Articles on writing

Advice from the community

COMMUNITY

Talk to others in the forums

Events and Competitions

GW News

ABOUT GREAT WRITING

All About Us

WORK AWAITING REVIEW
This list is randomly generated from all our published works. Curse of the Gargoyles by TurboWolffe Winterval 'Celebrations' by Clifftown Graffiti: Chapter IV by Kezzi Sonora Wave by bwoz This Maiden, Bright by umbugjug Mega Magic Dueling - DMD... by prodigy Beau Geste by Mr_E_Writer Why Won't Boys Wear Coat... by Kathy I Go to A School for Imm... by JaCoolie18 The Bubble Ride by sueflu

GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.

WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1426 guests online and 5 members online Robru chrismorton bobc solst patterjack

WHO'S ONLINE

Robru

chrismorton

bobc

solst

patterjack

Poetry


print friendly version
Notions of a Distant Spring

By Talisker

10 February 2007

Today I heard a murmur on the wind
Spring is coming, rest assured;
and riding on the searing, ripping gusts,
my capricious mind perceived a scent
of new mown grass and honeyed clover.

Daggers of daffodil, dared probe
beyond the frostbound earth,
in sanguine hope of finding
even a sustaining glint;
Yet only feeble, milky light,
and air, burning cold
rewarded their noble effort.
If they could have a change of heart,
retract, back to their bulbous wombs
and wait another month they would.
But nature calls the tune and knows,
as any mother knows, the birthing time.

I withdrew, within the fortress of my room,
with fire, warm milk and sleeping dogs,
to dream, and wait, and wait, and dream,

and smile at the constancy of time and season.

Oli 10/02/07

Reviews

Nice
Written by fellpony (1580 comments posted) 10th February 2007

You DO get an elusive scent of spring, that isn't really anything you can trace. I liked that. (It smells to me like carnatians - but I usually track it to the compost heap. Someone will probably tell me it's all about parts per million. Whatever.)

I wasn't sure about the lines:

"But nature calls the tune and knows,
as any mother knows, the birthing time."

Mothers don't call the tune there I'm afraid; it's the creature being born that does that and all mothers can do is respond - and they don't have a choice. So that metaphor didn't work for me, or at any rate I found it a bit confusing.

But i liked the remark about the daffodils wanting to retreat!

Overall a secure and patient look at the "constancy of time and season".

Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 10th February 2007

You have a canny knack of pitching many of your poems just right for me - and this was one of them.

Smells are so evocative, they can transport you, temporarily but totally - even imagined scents.

Loved the last verse particularly.

All the best,

Phil.

Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 10th February 2007

Yep, sensing spring for the first time - it's something in the air, a scent of some sort. I can never pin point what it is exactly, but it always seems to trigger a yearning for sun and daffodils - and I'm a winter person.

Very nice, loved the idea of daffodils being called to come out too soon and wanting to go back.

Best wishes,

E

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 10th February 2007

Yep, liked this one Oli. Though I do tend to agree with FP about the birthing bit. Lots to like about this - 'searing, ripping gust', 'feeble, milky light', 'daggers of daffodil' and I also liked the last stanza.

Nice reflection on the season.

Elli

Distant Spring
Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 13th February 2007

I liked this poem Oli. It is on certain days that you can feel that spring is not far away, but nature is cruel and instantly destroys these feelings by sending the cold winds and rain to tease us. I liked the images that you presented, especially the ones mentioned by Elli. As regards the "birthing", nature is also deceitful, and I had two false alarms before my daughter was born. Nature plays the same trick also with the arrival of springtime: you will get it when I decide, not when you decide!

Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.

Previous item		Next item