Great Writing - Home > Poetry > The Piper's Reverie
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1387 guests online and 6 members online
Poetry
The Piper's Reverie
By bwoz
12 February 2007
I waited for you near the forest
In a clearing by Misty Stream
The geese a-flight in formation
The day’s light on their wings
I played my flute and waited for you
The panpipe piper’s dream
Until sleep took hold, toppled my head
And a fragrant whisper came to me
“Is that you”, I stumbled awake;
Caught a glimpse through lumbering trees
You never answer, you only taunt
With shadows and a scented breeze
So I sit here, still, near the forest
My arms folded across my knees
Silence is a more worthy tune
For a piper’s reverie

Reviews

Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 12th February 2007
I wouldn't dare comment on technicalities of style! 
 
I liked the content very much. 
Poetry writing is hit and miss with me. :sigh Marybarry

Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 12th February 2007
Hmmm...a bit cliched, a bit predictable. 
 
"lumbering trees" - can trees lumber? Flute or pan-pipes? And why not just a pan-piper, rather than a "pan-pipe piper" 
 
Peter pan-piper picked a peck of pickled pepper... 
 
Not bad, just a little dull and unremarkable. 
 
Oli :)
that
Written by fellpony (1659 comments posted) 12th February 2007
must have been the bloke I saw outside the exit of the motorway services as I came home this evening. Playing the bagpipes. 
 
just a little
Written by bwoz (125 comments posted) 12th February 2007
I will admit it is a little predictable, somewhat cliche in a couple of lines. I tried to keep the rhyme constant and it is what it is I guess. 
 
Thanks all for reading and commenting. 
 
BW

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item