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Shorts
Angel
By LilGryphMaster
22 March 2005
I wrote this as an excercise in a writing book I was reading. I was supposed to write about something I saw that day. I saw a little girl sitting on the curb in front of a church. This is the outcome.

I myself find it a bit cheesy, but who knows... You may like it.

A little girl sits alone on the curb. She's wearing a beautiful pink dress; a little red ribbon is tied into her hair. The wind plays with the quaint strand, pulling whisps of her hair along with it.

Behind the girl is a large cathedral. A man in a black Sunday-suit stands at the entrance, looking over to his little beauty on the sidewalk. He slowly walks over to her; his footsteps echoing off the stone walls.

"Are you okay, honey?"

The little girl stays quiet, playing with a small piece of lace on her dress.

"Anne?"

"Is Grandma going to be okay?"

For a moment he doesn't know what to say, "Yes, dear. She's in heaven now."

"Where's heaven, daddy?"

The father moves closer to the girl, sitting down next to her on the curb. "Well, dear... Heaven is a place where people go when they..." He stops, thinking of a simple way to explain death to a 5 year-old. Death is never that simple, "It's a place for people to go to when they pass away."

"Daddy... Is Grandma dead?"

The father is surprised by this comment. He cannot fathom the possibility of his little baby girl knowing about the concepts of death.

"Yes, Anne... She's dead..."

Everything becomes very still for a moment. Anne continues playing with the lace on her dress. "I want to go to heaven, daddy."

The father doesn't say anything. He grins slightly at the sweet, innocent tone of her voice. Maybe she doesn't know so much about death than he thought. "Heaven's not a place for little girls, honey."

"If Grandma's in heaven, then I want to go there too. I miss Grandma"

"I know, baby. I miss her too... But you know what? You're going to see her again. She'll be waiting for you right up there in heaven," The man points towards the clouds, making sure his daughter's eyes follow. "But until you see her again, know that she will always be looking after you right here on earth."

"Will she be like an angel?"

"That's right, Anne! She'll be just like an angel."

"Will I ever be an angel like Grandma, daddy?"

"Of course dear... Years and years from now, when even you have grandkids of your own; you'll be an angel too. Just like Grandma! But for now, you're gonna be my little angel."

The father picks up his daughter in his two hands and twirls her around in the air. She lets out a fierce giggle and they both smile at each other.

"Look daddy, I'm an angel! I'm flying!"

Daddy throws his little angel into the air and watches her fly. For a moment he can actually believe that his daughter truly is an angel. And she is. She's Daddy's little angel.

Reviews
Not cheesy - but sweet!
Written by Bailey (5 comments posted) 22nd March 2005
Hello, 
 
I didn't think this was cheesy, just a nice moment between father and daughter. I could imagine it as a scene in a longer narrative, serving to highlight the relationship between the characters. 
 
I liked the dialogue, but I thought the narration was a bit impersonal. But perhaps that's just your style. 
 
Nice work - let's see some more!

Written by Dragonrose (3 comments posted) 22nd March 2005
I like how she already seems to know everything her Dad wants to tell her. Even though she's only five, she's growing up faster than her Dad can quite deal with. 
 
And the last bit about "Daddy's little angel" is adorable. Good job.
Impersonal...
Written by LilGryphMaster (11 comments posted) 22nd March 2005
Yes, that's a good word. Maybe I was shooting for that in this story, but that's certainly not my style. I haven't really developed a style, as I haven't devoted nearly enough time to my writing. 
 
More will come in due time. I am taking a writing class next quarter, so I hope to get my creative juices flowing. Look out for some poetry soon.
Edited
Written by LilGryphMaster (11 comments posted) 22nd March 2005
I've edited the story slightly. I don't know what it's achieved.. But it flows nicer. A few phrases added, in hopes that the narration isn't as impersonal. But now it could be out of place.
Truly amasing
Written by BlackMan890 (1 comments posted) 25th March 2005
i must say, it is a great work you got there. 
 
and adorable like Dragonrose said 
 
keep it up, and a novel is not far away :)
Not cheesy at all!
Written by Lizzy_babe (10 comments posted) 25th March 2005
This was a lovely wee story and one that I think children would really enjoy being read. The ending was beautiful, one of those real heart-warming endings. As a mum it really made me think about my own little angels. :) Well done!
Snapshot
Written by spiderbaby49 (137 comments posted) 31st March 2005
Lovely little snapshot of a very personal moment. 
I look forward to seeing more of your work as you progress through your writing course. 
 
spidey

Written by DustinBowcott (66 comments posted) 1st May 2005
No complaints about the writing except 'Maybe she doesn't know so much about death than he thought.'  
Not to my taste, and more of an excerpt than a story.

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